This Is Not My Suicide Note

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If this was my suicide note, I would swear to my mother she will make it through.
I know the nights are long, and it feel as though the nightmare will never end.
Things will be tough, and I have no intent to make you sad.
I know I was not enough.
But I tried so hard.

If this was my suicide note, I'd tell my little brother I love him dear.
I love you to pieces, and always have from the start.
But I know in my heart you are such fine young man.
Please make me a promise, and never tear a girl apart.

If this was my suicide note, I'd tell my daddy he doesn't need to cry.
Even up in heaven I'm still you're little girl.
I am forever grateful for my childhood, in which you spoiled me dearly,
Daddy you will always be my first love.

If this was my suicide note, i'd tell my big brother he is so strong.
Please don't blame yourself.
I know you struggle
You are so full of love.
You are my protection.
You are my friend.
I love you big brother.

If this was my suicide note, I just need you to know you broke my heart.
I could scream it from the heavens, but please realize I am not trying to tear you apart.
Please learn from this my dear.
Please don't toy with ones love.
But just remember I will love you always.
My body is addicted to your touch.

If this was my suicide note I would like to thank the friends I had the chance to meet.
Thank you for your love, and for not giving up on me.
Please do not blame yourselves.
You are all so fucking lovely.

I am so sorry.
Tonight I need to go.

Goodbye.
.............................................................................
Hello

I am alive.
This is not my suicide note.
But I wish it was.

So tonight I just want you to know

Dear mother I am trying.
I know you cannot see.

Little brother you make me so proud, in ways you cannot understand.

Dear father I am sorry.
I don't know how to be your little girl anymore.

Big brother I wish we could start over.
I wish you could feel my love.
I love you.

My friends I want to thank you for never giving up on me.

I will live today.

I will live today

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