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chapter fifty-one | the missing part of her
WITH HER EYES dry of tears, and her body feeling numb from the painkillers, Laurel stared up at the bottom of the bunk above her in the middle of the night. Her body laid still on the stiff bed, the sheets tucked around her with his poncho laid out on her stomach. She has been plucking the loose threads and small balls of fuzz from the fabric. It helped keep her hands busy without wanting to leave the bed.
Laurel slept for a while after she was scared awake from Rick's meltdown. She didn't remember him screaming clearly, she thinks it was a part of her nightmares. She wished she could have slept longer but the never-ending nightmare Laurel had felt too real and her heart was still trying to pace normally. She wished she just didn't have to remember the past few days.
Laurel listened closely to the sounds of Cassie's soft breathing above her, finding comfort in her sister's peaceful state and Ethan's snoring on the floor next to her felt surreal. Their lantern that sat in the corner of the room, next to the door was lit, a soft light made the darkroom seem less frightening. She felt the calmest than she has ever had, despite the nightmares. Even the once safe feeling of the farm couldn't compare to the feelings of her siblings by her side again, both of them. She closed her eyes, understanding she might not be able to go back to sleep but she wanted to relish this moment for as long as she could.
She might not have had a hot meal or an unbruised body in a very, very long time, but this was better than anything any of that. Her family, as dysfunctional as they come, was together after so many brutal months apart. She felt her numb and broken heart from the pain that came from the "death" of her younger brother, heal. She could swear this was all nothing but a fever dream.
Laurel couldn't wait to sit down with Ethan and listen to the stories of his months alone with Michonne and Andrea. More so how Andrea stayed with him than leaving with the other two. She was curious how they met Michonne and what the woman was like. She wanted to tell him everything she and Cassie went through, even the most boring of stories. She wanted to know everything he has been through and hold him to reassure him he's safe with her again. To reassure herself that he was in fact here.
She couldn't believe how much of him has changed. He grew taller, as tall as her, and she could even see more growth spurts even more in the future. She noticed how choppy his curls were, hoping one of the women he was with helped him keep it short because Laurel knew how much he hated having long hair. His cheeks were more freckled, and his skin was tanner but very sunburnt. He just turned fifteen when the apocalypse started, with almost a year gone by, he was definitely sixteen now.
But, there were some things that haven't changed that brought Laurel even more comfort. Ethan still had the same attitude, the same dirty looks when someone said something that annoyed him. He wore flannels still, no matter the weather, hot or cold. She hoped one day she could find a nice thick jacket with flannel inside for this upcoming winter, he would like that. And, he still had the limp in his left leg from the car crash years ago. He was alive, here, with her.
