THE RIGHT CHOICE

Honesty

It has been two weeks since I arrived back home, My Family has been trying to cheer me up , every night we ended up watching what I want . Yesterday we watched  Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and I practically cried when Angeli's Love wasn't responded. To really say the truth the pain worsens every single day and that's because reality is kicking in harder than I care to admit.

That night after my arrival I received a phone call from the guys . Hey Alexa , how is your Dad doing ? Dan inquires. His doing much better sweetie, thank God . How about you ? I mean it's a simple question but why was it hard for me to say am doing great . Am okay, guys I have been trying to reach Alec but his phone is turned off , have  any of you happen to see him or hear from him ?

To really say the truth ,we haven't heard from him since your departure. But hey... Jackson really needs to talk to you it's really important. He had plenty of chances to talk to me but he completely shut me out , I ignore  the last statement. So what you mean he  just disappeared? Wait , wait I remember, I actually said that out loud, I know how to contact him, say it with so much excitement , that it shocked me .

Guys I need to go but it was amazing speaking to all of you . Alexa wait, Paul called out for me , Jackson really needs to talk to you , please. I don't want to talk to him or his girlfriend  they've done enough , I have done enough ,if I meant anything to him , he should let me go ,anyway goodnight and you won't be able to contact me henceforth. What do you mean ? They all ask  , It's complicated but am really looking forward to see all of you at my Birthday party.

We wouldn't miss it for anything. Martin says . After the various goodbyes I hanged up the phone .I run to my bedroom going through my unpacked stuff looking for a certain handkerchief. Here it is  , God I got it, I literally scream jumping up and down from excitement. I dialled the number and thank the Lord it rings .Hello?  There he is .Have missed you , so let me guess you went back ? I miss you more Alexa , he sighs, killed me just thinking I would never talk to you again, but apparently you were listening to me . When haven't I? We both laugh at that . I too went back home , you were right ,it does come a time where one needs to face their own mistakes. So how much trouble are you in ? I ask him .You wouldn't believe me even if I tell you , but I can handle this , I just remind myself everyday ...Am finally doing the right thing , taking responsibility, that mostly helps on rough days . We talk about everything but leaving out the fact am a Princess and my punishment being Marriage but other than that the conversations were great mostly filled with laughter , I totally forgot and came with his letter, how foolish could I get .I didn't realise how late it had gotten until Fred walks in my room to say his goodnights . I better let you go ,say hi to Fred for me ,Goodnight Alexa and am so happy you see me as one of your friends. Are you Kidding me... Am the one grateful for having you by my side and just being one of yours . I hear him laugh and after one last goodnight he was gone. Am so, so,sorry Alexa , I hope one day you will understand why I had to do what I did but having talked to her helped more than I could ever imagined.

You talking to a boyfriend or something ? Fred asks. Well if by Boyfriend you mean a boy who's  a friend ,then yes I was . What else would I mean silly, here I brought you this, I take the wrapped gift ,he has  this smile on and some confusion on his face too  .Unwrapping it , I find  ... A Diary,It was more of a statement. No , It's actually a Journal you can write all your experiences and feelings, It really helps trust me.I know I will  never use it ,am pathetic at talking about my feelings, later on writing them down but it was a nice gesture. Thank you so much , I go  in for a hug .

Thanks for having my back and not ratting me out to our parents that you saw me in New York. Am always here if you need to talk about it , he scans  my eyes and I know he sees  pain in them , come here  he throws me to a hug again ,  so sorry your hurting ,I wish I can take away your pain but sadly I can't. Well you just gave me a book that may help . I know you won't use it , he gives me the look but I hope you give it a chance.

Can't promise that Fred but will try  ,It's better than nothing after a kiss on the cheeks and ordering me to go to sleep he was gone .

Jackson's proverb

As Alexa and the guys hugged it took all my energy not to break , the other reason that helped me push through with breaking up with her  was,  I would be seeing her at school and hopefully home but the fact that she was leaving for good hit me pretty bad , I could feel her eyes on me but I couldn't bare looking at her without cracking , am now at home having a world war  with myself , the guys entered and to my surprise they joined me .

Thought you guys aren't  talking to me still ?  Well that will depend if you are ready to tell us what really is going on with you? Dan speaks . Really , this again ? I believe I have already told you everything. You do know you are lying to people who have known you your whole life , Ester points out  , I saw you pushing Vanessa away from you and that's not how you treat 'The love of your Life.'

Guys just drop it... am not in the mood to argue with all of you over the same thing again. Okay , then how about when Alexa left I found you crying yourself at the theater, Martin added .I wasn't crying something just got in my eyes . Just tell us the truth damn it ? Kelly orders . Okay , you want to know the truth ? Am hurting , am fucking hurting here  , I love her , I love Alexa so bad , it killed me telling her all those hurtful things , it killed me seeing her cry her eyes out in class . Then why did you do it ? Paul asks . My family is in serious trouble and only Vanessa's parents can help , For them to save our company I needed to end things  with Alexa .You saw it wise to handle this alone , you should have told us we would come up with a better plan than your stupid move Jack . Dan hisses . I understand family matters but your love also matters and no one should come between that ,not even your family. we need to talk to Alexa and fix the mess you caused . Ester says  that dialling Alexa's number , I didn't have the energy to protest because I so badly want to hear her voice .

When I heard her voice it broke me , I was relieved to learn her dad is doing much better , when Paul asks her how she was , she hesitate but says okay .I knew she was not but I still thank God to just  be able to hear her voice. When she's told i needed to speak to her ,she completely ignores it and instead asked for Alec , I know I  have no right to be jealous but i still was , She then tells the guys that if she has ever meant anything to me I should let her go , If only she knew she means the world to me  .

I knew what I had to do , told the guys to drop it and I had to let her go , it's the only thing she's asking from me . I couldn't sleep that night , found myself in her room , it still smells like her , She left me a letter. Telling me she had no hard feelings towards me ,wishing me the best in my life and asking for forgiveness for all the slaps she gave  me . She did invite me to her party where we will come to learn what she has been hiding, I hold  her pillow close inhaling her scent ,God I miss her so much .

I miss having her in my hands , kissing her soft drugging lips and running my fingers in her hair . Miss whispering love words in her ears and her giggling, I love you so much Love , love you .

Do you think Jackson is right Family comes  First ?