THE RIGHT CHOICE

The Realization

Noel's proverb

Walking away from her was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life , I was completely broken down , this pain am feeling is ten times the pain I have  felt my whole life. My reason to live just ... vanished.  But at least am happy knowing she will be happy with him and maybe this time he can love her right.

  You okay son, you haven't said a thing since we left The Mckellen's house? Dad asks  . I have been trying so hard not to breakdown in front of them , I may have lost the war for her heart but hopefully we can still be friends . Never felt better Dad, deep down I was like, Am going crazy Dad , I don't think I can go on, it fucking hurts so , so much  , have lost her Dad , she doesn't love me .

Am going to be okay guys , I could see the worried look Mom had on , she felt my pain , Am going to be okay , I need to be okay for the kids and you guys. No you don't,  Mom reassures me.  I need to Mom , I really do . They give me smiles that didn't reach their eyes . We arrive home i pack my things and after one last stop at the Orphanage I was gone .

Kelly's Proverb

As Noel walks away from me , my heart breaks into a million pieces,  I had no one to blame but me , am now in his secret hideout where he confessed his feelings for  me . On arrival am welcomed with memories like a wrecking ball,  I fall  on the ground crying my eyes out .

Noel, Please come back , I love you so much , I love you Noel ,please don't leave me .For the first time In a long time I  know what I am  saying but like the fool I am , I let my fear control me and that caused me Noel, the man who loves me for me , understands me like no one before , puts up with my tantrums and most of all ...doesn't want me to change anything about me .

His gone , gone to forget anything he feels for me . I messed up ,real bad and this time there is no making it right  . Stayed on the ground for hours crying , I know it doesn't help but it some how eases the pain . Got home to find people so worried about me . Hey , Michelle reaches for me  I break down in front of them . Have  lost him guys , have lost him .

They all came over and just hug me . Aren't you guys going to tell me , you told me so  ? Ooh Doll , this is not over yet . You can go after him , Fred says . Yeah , show him you love him by going after him , fighting for him . I ... can't said that between cries because before him , I love you guys so much so even though it kills me ... I can't. If I try as much as  do anything you guys have suggested,  we lose  this Kingdom , our lives is in this Kingdom,  this is our home and I won't let that happen, I messed up so many time and I have had to pay deeply , maybe this is also one of my punishment.

Thank you guys for always being there whenever I need you , I pick myself up and walked straight  to my room . Walking in , just dropped on the bed , pulling out  my phone out trying to  call  him but  Larry answers instead.  He informs me Noel left it behind . I  find  myself going through pictures on my phone and there we were laughing our hearts out in every one of them .

There  this particular one that has always been my favourite,  he was whispering something in my ears and I had this big smile on . Please forgive me for taking this long to realise how much you mean to me . Forgive me my Noel , my love .

You think it's all her fault,  she took to long to admit her feelings,  ever lost something or someone because of your  fears ?