THE RIGHT CHOICE

Happy Memories

I woke up really early prepared myself and by the time he arrived I had gone through my room more than a thousand time , walking towards him felt weird for the countless  time I had this urge for his warmth and i went in for a hug .I should be having a bad day everyday to get such warm treatment from you . With that said it brought me back to reality .

I scan him for a minute or so , You look tired didn't sleep well ? Had a lot on my mind shall we , I knew he was avoiding the topic and I was willing to let it slid because I understood this day could not be easier.  He lost his child , his girlfriend and especially his brother who happened to be his best friend.  How about I drive us there , you can get some sleep on the way and I will just wake you up when we get there.  I don't now K , I know the way pretty well am not going to lose us . He ended up giving me the keys , on our way he got to sleep knew that from the soft snoring  , even in his sleep I could see he was distressed,  At some point he grunted in his sleep,  I got hold of his hand and with that he relaxed . We arrived at the graveyard and it hurt me to wake him up , If it were up to me I would let him sleep through out this day .

Noel , umh , are we here yet , I just nodded , he turned looked at his surrounding for a while , closed his eyes mumbled something to himself and with that he opened the door . He waited for me and seconds later he was leading me to his brother's tombstone , He walked straight to him one could tell he knew his way . I decided to stay a few meter away to give him some privacy,  I too would have loved for someone to do that for me . He sat next to the grave stone one could tell he was conflicting on what to say. 

Hey Alvin ,Sorry whenever I come to visit I don't even approach you , sorry am still hurting and so sorry am still angry with you . Sorry am not that brave with my emotions around you . God I hate you so much  he was quiet for a while, Hate you for believing every damn thing I said to you . Hate you for leaving me behind . Hate you for thinking you were not a good  brother to me . I didn't mean what I said , I didn't mean it at all.  God I didn't mean it, he said those words so painfully.

Hearing him saying that hurt , I found myself walking to him ,dropped on my knees and just hugged him tightly . I wish I can take away your pain but sadly I can't do that,  I can only be here for you, I didn't have the voice to speak those words out , he looked at me and was like, that's all I need from you . It's  weird he knew what I was saying without me saying it out Loud.  His eyes were so red from crying knowing after here he also needed to go and pay respect to Noelle killed me .

I wish I can do something to make him feel am always going to be here. Can I talk to him ? Sure thing I need some fresh air anyway , Noel backed away from his brother.  Hey  Alvin am Kelly your brother's Fiancee,  I know you are so sorry for all the hurt you've caused him , I also know your brother loves you more than anything in this world.  When we are upset ,most people tend to think we tend to speak what we have been holding in for so long, but sometimes we speak out of anger and when we realise what we said it kills us because one never means any of it and that's the painful thing .

Noel is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me but I bet you know that already . His funny ,sometimes annoying, loves helping everyone with their problems which is also sometimes annoying,  claims he knows how to dance but honestly the guy is , awful that stays between you and I.  With that I heard him laugh. Men I never knew I was that bad , I won the Dance Battle in Grade Five seems like they were more  shocked than dazzled,  taking a sit next to me .

For the first time he smiled, not a fake one and I was really , really happy . Tell me a funny memory you had with him . Are you using my tactics against me . Whenever I was sad or remembering the breakup Noel would tell me to tell him the good memories I had, other than the painful one .I taught you well , let's see where to start ,Ooh I got it ,Dad had planned this epic family trip and I ended up falling sick the next day , So Dad had this amazing idea of Mom remaining behind to take care of me and the rest could go for the trip,  Alvin refused any of it,  he went to the kitchen prepared his special chicken stew and brought it up for me in my room , he had this big smile on his face as he placed it on my bed side desk .

when I asked why they hadn't left he just took the stew and started feeding me , he was like. There is No Alvin if Noel is not there and there is definitely no fun without Noel.  He loved saying that . He always said Noel can go on without Alvin, that I never needed him , if only he knew how wrong he was on the needing him . He would get into fights with kids that bullied me at school,  after his suspension he would still  come back and beat the hell out of my bully claiming that, his the only one allowed to harass me .

Sounds like the type of guy I would love to hug out with , said that pushing him lightly.  Yeah you would . When Dad would forget to bring me gifts from his trip claiming he didn't know my likes and dislikes,  Alvin used to go to the malls whenever he knew dad would be arriving anytime soon,  picked out the toys and records I loved so much , so when Dad started to give out the presents he would pass them to Dad claiming they were the last  ones in the bag . Ones Dad gifted me with some records that I happened to have mentioned to Alvin a while ago . I never told him, I knew the truth I just went along with the shred.

I agree with Alvin ? On what he asked .On the fun part,  whenever am with you I always end up laughing my heart out , whenever you are around ,you get to show someone the happy side of the world not the dull and unfair world we all have come to know.  Your Dad invited me for dinner . Well that would be exciting,  very interesting.  What did he mean by that am getting scared now .Should I be worried about anything? I asked.  I will be there , no need to worry.

Is it truth that remembering the happy memories other than the painful ones can help ease the pain ?