Tags: cheating, uncomfortable (for some), not wholesome
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Jennie hurriedly dabs at the drops of sweat crawling down her neck, throwing the tissue with similar speed and not looking back after it doesn't land inside the bin. Thankfully, the receptionist Chaeyoung is nowhere to be found or she'd have to deal with another kind of trouble. The elevator dings to her relief and she hops on it, not doing a double-check of if anyone else is behind her and wants to get on it too . The door closes without the shadow of a figure and she immediately sinks against the metallic wall of the elevator, sighing at her reflection.
Something sparks in her brain and she looks swiftly sideways, tilting her head to see the reflection of her exposed neck on the golden interior of the elevator. Thank god.
Work has been hectic lately. She regrets not being able to spend more time with Lisa.
Lies.
She looks down at her heels, not having it in her to meet her own eyes in the mirror-resembling walls she is engulfed by right now.
The elevator door slides open with a ding, making her flinch but then regain her composure. She checks the display, walking out at the sight of "13". An unlucky number. An even more unlucky week.
Lisa's waiting for her. God, she hopes so much that that's not true. She hopes the anticipation of the click of the door unlocking leads to the reveal of a dark living room, with no sign of light illuminating the tiled floor from any direction. Especially not the dining area.
But God, the frustrated quiet sigh that leaves her lips after she opens the door marks that none of her expectations are met and she walks into her home with that same sorry look she gets everytime she thinks of what she's been doing. The sorry look is going to convince Lisa of her being remorseful of not having been able to join her for dinner, after all.
When she walks to the dining area in search of her wife, her heart clenches painfully. Lisa has her head down on the table with her eyes closed, the presumably now-cold food arranged neatly on the table. She was waiting for me, Jennie thinks bitterly after the ticking clock displays a 11:23pm, the time way past Lisa's usual dinner time.
The words she says next leave a bitter taste in her mouth. So, so bitter that her already fading appetite tips over the edge and dies.
"Honey, I'm home." She says softly, her heart stuttering in a certain kind of nervousness she's only come to know this week.
Lisa's head snaps up and she smiles.
She smiles. She smiles with all the kindness and warmth in her eyes, her upturned lips not resembling the smirk of the man Jennie has in mind. Jennie feels her insides glow, if that's even possible, but it comes crashing down when she's struck with the reality of this whole situation. She doesn't deserve this.
And yet she kisses Lisa. Her wife. This woman she'd vowed she'd be loyal to for the rest of her life. This woman she still loves although she's not sure anymore. She's cornered herself. Lisa's plump lips embracing hers feels like nothing short of bliss. But it also feels like dread. It feels like guilt. It feels like...death. Death because Jennie realizes she's not that Jennie anymore. That Jennie ten years ago with sparkling eyes and innocent schemes for love. That Jennie who had met Lisa and instantly fallen in love with the beautiful girl. That Jennie who had held Lisa everytime she was sick. That Jennie is dead.
It's like her mind has a torturous mind of its own and she starts imagining a hard, mascular body pressing up against her instead of a warm, lean one. The lips against hers become more aggressive in her mind and she smells a strong, almost suffocating deodorant. It snaps when Lisa breaks the kiss and looks at her with loving eyes. She doesn't deserve any of this.
"Dinner?" Lisa asks expectantly and Jennie wants to turn her down.
Again, she doesn't deserve the privilege of having dinner with Lisa.
"I'll freshen up and we can have dinner together, hm? I'm sorry I'm late." Jennie says in a loving tone and Lisa nods her understanding, hooking a hair over her wife's ear.
When Jennie rushes past her up the stairs, the pain at bay seeps its way into Lisa's smile as she pretends she did not just smell the same perfume she has been noticing since the last week in the air.
A/N: This probably has messy wording because I just wanted to get this over with. This was a bad idea. I can't do all this cheating shit. Anyway sorry if I sound pissed LMAO I'm not. I'm just relieved this is over with. Pain. 💀 Hope y'all are doing great <3333
