You Look Perfect (lams)

Chapter 31

T.W: abuse, self harm, mild suicidal thoughts
(I'll put ~~~~ when the self harm starts and ends just in case)

Johns POV:

"F-Francis...?"

The brown-haired blue-eyes man looks at me with a sinister grin on his face. Reynolds pulls out and I squirm away, trying to ignore my aching, shaking body and desperately reach for a blanket to cover myself with. I sit against the backboard of Reynolds' bed and use the comforter to cover up everything except my head and neck.

"Miss me, doll?"

My vision gets blurry at just the sight of the man in front of me. "Y-you're supposed to be in jail!" I shout, but it just comes out as more of a whimper.

"It's already been three years, sugar. I was only 16. They're not gonna put a teen into a federal prison, now are they? Also helps I have...friends in high places."

I wanted to scream. To cry. To yell at the top of my lungs that what he did to me, changed my life. He took away my innocence and I never got that back. I wanted to hit him. Punch him, kick him, make him feel a fraction of what I felt.

But I can't. I'm too weak.

I just sit here on the bed helplessly searching around for my clothes. I eventually find my boxers twisted up in the sheets so I grab it and put it on.

I look back up to see Francis inching toward me. I push my self back against the headboard even more in attempt to distance myself from him, wincing from the soreness as I do.

He grabs my ponytail and yanks it forward, forcing me to move closer to him. I grab his wrist and try to pry his hands out of my hair. He lets his hands detangle from my hair only to wrap them around my neck firmly.

I gasp and use my hands to push his chest away from me and even try to smack him but every time I move his grip gets tighter and tighter. Eventually I can barely breath so I give up.

"You know what I can do to you, sugar. I'd stop trying to fight. You wouldn't want me to send out that picture of you and your little slut would you?"

"A-Alex is not a slut." I manage out, a bitter edge to my voice.

"Oh, Alex is his name? You wouldn't want me to go get him instead? Let you free so I can move on to a new toy? He seems mighty submissive, no? I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking your place."

He releases his grip on my neck and I smack him across the face angrily. He's not touching Alex. Not over my dead body.

His face twists into an expression of fury and he smacks me back, ten times harder than I could even manage to do. I gasp lightly as I feel my cheek burning from his hand. I reach my hand up to touch my cheek and whimper softly as tears start coming yet again.

"You've forgotten how far I can go, huh? So scared of your father you've forgotten that I'm worse than him. Maybe I will get Alex. Tie him up on a chair in front of you and make you watch him get used just for my pleasure. How does that sound, doll?"

My chin quivers at the thought but I try to act as tough as I can. "No. You're not fucking touching him. Leave him alone. Do what you want with me, I don't care. Don't bring Alex into this. He did nothing wrong."

"Awe, johnny's all tough now is he?" Francis mocks. "D-don't call me that." I say, remembering how Alex used to call me Johnny.  "Oh, I hit a nerve did I, Johnny?"

I punch at his chest weakly to which he just scoffs and grips my wrists so I can't move. I squirm and try to fight away from him, earning me another smack to the face. I don't care. I knee him in the crotch, he punches me in the gut knocking the wind out of me. I huff and hold my stomach, still in pain from Reynolds.

Reynolds has been left the room by now. I hear the door open and see a small seabury standing in the doorway, covering his mouth with tears in his eyes. I offer him a small smile to tell him it's okay, just to be punched in the face soon afterward. I hiss in pain and just take the beatings weakly.

Soon enough, Lee comes into the room and sees what's happening. He shoots me a sympathetic look and tries to look away as much as he can as he gently takes samuel's hand and leads him out of the room.

"Had enough?" Francis snaps sharply.

"Not even close." I snap back. He looks displeased at this and slams my head into the wall. I slide down the wall onto the floor weakly, holding my head and groaning in pain.

Francis uses me being on the floor to his advantage, kicking me in the stomach swiftly. And another kick. And another. Again and again until my whole body feels numb. He eventually stops and leaves the room. I'm too weak and bloody to get off the floor but at least I'm numb.

I can't feel anything.

I can't think anything.

Alex's POV:

These weeks without John have been terrible. I've barely slept since he's been gone. Barely eaten. I haven't had any energy to take a shower, go to school. I haven't had the energy to do...anything. The Washington's keep trying to coax me out of my room. I don't want to. I don't want to do anything right now.

Not even live.

I have no way to help John. I have no idea where he is. I don't even know if he's coming back. I know those bastards are doing something terrible to him as I speak.

The only thing that's been helping is cutting. It gives me a moment of peace, of numbness. I don't think anything. I don't feel anything. Just total apathy. I don't know what's wrong with me. Mrs. Washington doesn't know what's happening with John but she offered I go to therapy. I'm not going. I should be able to deal with this myself.

I take a deep breath and walk over to my bathroom slowly. It looks so empty, gloomy. It's like all of the emotion and personality has been ripped away from my room. From my mind.

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I go over to the tub and grab the familiar blade. I roll up my hoodie sleeve and take a shaky breath. I press the blade into my skin and slowly drag it along the surface, watching it break the skin, relishing the stinging feeling and red that marks my arm. I make multiple cuts on both of my arms until I feel dizzy and lightheaded.

I put the blade down and just enjoy this moment of nothingness.

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I reach for the bandages to wrap my cuts but before I can grab it I hear a knock on my bathroom door.

"Alex, honey, are you in there?" Mrs. Washington asks softly.

I gulp. "U-um yeah, w-what's up?" I reply, still feeling slightly lightheaded. "Your friends are here, they wanted to check up on you?" Oh god.
"O-oh okay. I'll be out in a minute."

I try to wipe off as much blood as I can and quickly wrap my cuts. I take a deep breath and get off the floor, using the tub to stabilize myself. I dizzily walk to the bathroom door and turn the knob, entering my room.

1249 words wowzers