You Look Perfect (lams)

Chapter 50

A/N: wow half way to 100 chapters :0 also special shoutouts to my official chapter organizer  Ginoravioli and ofc my child Pan_ic_Attacked

Johns POV:

"First day of therapy, you excited Jacky?" Alex asks, taking my hand and leading me through the school gates. "T-totally!" I reply, trying to be cheery.

I gotta admit I'm pretty fucking scared. I mean, spilling your guts to some stranger and having to relive those memories? Who wouldn't be scared. I know it's supposed to help me and everything though, and Alex is really trying to help, so I'll try to push my nervousness down for now.

"I'm proud of you, ya know. It's not easy Jacky, admitting that you just need a little bit of support. You've always been here for me now I wanna return the favor, even if I can't really help, a therapist can. After class I'll ask Mr. Washington to pick me up so you can drive there. Mkay?"

I smile at his words and nod. "Okay sounds good. Thank you lex." He smiles and gets on his tiptoes to peck my cheek softly. I smile and kiss the top of his head before going to my locker.

~~~

"Class dismissed! I want this homework back to me by tomorrow, no excuses! You're going to be graduating soon and colleges aren't gonna except you if you don't get these grades up!" I sigh as my teacher Mr. Reynolds, Maria's dad, announces this. I can't believe I'm going to college soon. I really hope Alex goes to the same one as me.

I walk over to my locker to put my stuff away. A pair of arms wraps around my waist from behind and I stiffen. I turn around and see it's Alex, like always. I don't even know why I still tense up.

"Hi baby." I coo, wrapping my arms around his waist and leaning down to kiss him. "Hi Jacky." He says, pulling away and smiling softly. "I gotta go help Mr. Adams real quick, meet you back here?" He asks. I nod and give him one more quick peck as he walks off, ponytail bouncing. I smile at the sight and heard two sets of footsteps approaching.

I turned around confused and saw Lee leaning against a locker with his arm wrapped around Sam. "Oh, uh hey guys." I say awkwardly. Sam waves with a small smile and Lee clears his throat. "We we're just wondering how you and Alex are doing? We got through it and I wanted to make sure you did too. I don't want to put you though anything else."

I scrunch my eyebrows up in confusion. "You never put me through anything? Uh, anyways. Me and Alex are good. We talked and uh I'm going to my first therapy session later. Yay." Sam frowns a bit and speaks up. "Is it because of, uh F-Francis and Reynolds? Because if I-it is I'm so s-sorry and I understand if you don't want us to talk to you." He stutters nervously.

A look of concern washes over me and I look over at Lee. He frowns and shakes his head a bit, rubbing Sam's back softly to calm him down. "Yes it's because of them, but it's fine, really. Don't worry about it sam, okay?" He nods but he still looks sad and fiddles with the ends of his sleeves.

"Baby boy, why don't you go wait in the cafeteria for me, yeah? I'll be right in." Lee says softly, smiling down at seabury. "Oh ok." Sam says, Lee leaving down to give him a kiss. He walks down the hallway and Lee turns back to face me.

"What's wrong with Sam?" I ask. He frowns a bit. Lee sighs and shifts his weight to his other foot. "He's still- submissive from being controlled by Francis and Reynolds. Like, say I asked him to simply hand me the remote. If I say it too sternly he flinches and calls me sir. I hate it and I feel so bad for him. I've learned how to talk around him so he doesn't get scared but I still feel so bad."

I nod with a sad look as he continues. "It also doesn't help that he has anxiety and tends to overthink everything. If he even does one thing that he thinks is wrong he starts freaking out and begging me not to leave or hurt him. I just wish I could help him somehow." I nod understandingly.

"I get it, Alex has anxiety and ptsd from some childhood experiences and I feel so bad because when he freaks out I can't help him really. And now that I have trauma and shit I can't even be the strong one in the relationship. I want to help him, not the other way around. It fucking sucks. He went through so much when I was gone and I just don't want him to have to experience that again."

Lee nods and pats my shoulder. "We ended up with some pretty damaged goods, didn't we?" Lee says jokingly. I chuckle softly. "Yeah. But we're not exactly the most mentally stable either, so." He chuckles and I hear soft footsteps from behind me. Alex comes next to me and leans his head on my arm, holding my hand.

"Hey lexi. How'd it go?" He sighs. "Fine, I had to carry a ton of stuff which sucks because of my noodle arms. But he gave me extra credit so yay." He looks over at lee and I see his mood changes a bit.

"Oh, sorry Lee. I didn't recognize you for a second there." He says, Lee just waves awkwardly. "What were you two talking about?" Alex whispers shyly. "Nothing important." His expression falters a bit and he pulls on his sleeves. "Don't worry about it, okay baby? Let's go head to lunch." He nods a bit, still looking a bit sad. "Okay. Bye Lee." We wave and Walk down towards the cafeteria.