To All the Boys I've Loved Before

To the Guy Who Pronounces His Ss' Very Peculiarly

There are so many things about you I can think of.
Not that you had a cute lisp or that you smelled like summer love.
But all throughout my high school nightmares, you were there for me,
in a really nonchalant but endearing way.
I was a real weirdo and high school misfit.
At least that's what I thought of myself.
I was an introverted, feisty kid with self-esteem as low as my voice range.
I may have grown a bit now. Just a bit I guess.
Despite of how I saw myself back then,
you always had a way to make me laugh
and you'd often pat my head.
You helped me with math homework sometimes and even my other troubles.
You tipped me when our teacher was already in class
and I was still spaced out at the cafeteria.
You woke me up one time when I fell asleep in our classroom with a book on my chest -
while I wondered if you took the time to watch me dream before waking me.
You were sorta like my guy best friend.
In a way, that's how I saw you.
There were a lot of reasons why I grew fond of you,
mostly because you saw me when I was invisible
even if I wasn't "Princess of Genovia."
It was going so well until I gave you that letter on Christmas - our class Christmas party, I remember.
In the letter I said I really liked you,
your hair and all that puppy love stuff.
Ew, I know.
That only happens in movies but I had to be dramatic.
That's just who I am.
I cried a lot that day because it was, unsurprisingly one-sided.
After all your stories about HER and how to get her heart,
and even after you won it
I should've gotten the message but I was a real fool.
I was still hoping you saw me in a different light.
I should have known better.
I should have known after all those sappy unrequited love stories I wrote
about a girl and her boy best friend never ending up together
blah, blah, blah
but I still adored writing them.
I loved the tragedy.
My heart got broken again -
what a surprise, huh?
After that, we were never really the same
were we?
And you didn't talk to me like you used to.
But a few years ago, you found me at a book shop
and you pat my head again
Just like old times.
I was really glad you did.