Travis is trapped in a vicious cycle full of self-hatred, anger and confusion and writes it all down in his diary since he has no one who listens to him.
Until the day he gets a second chance.
⚠️TW for: Homophobic language, Su1c1dal thoughts, Physic...
Oh wow. This was one of the worst days i had this month. Not only is God mad at me, but i failed this math test today and also do i got punished from my dad again because of this vase i broke today morning. My back hurts because of the belt, but oh well. At least i had the chance to take out my diary and now write everything down. I'm in my room right now because i'm not allowed to go outside, so i have to be quick and hope my dad won't come into my room. But what pisses me off the most today is the fact i can't forget Fisher. I mean it isn't something new that he can't leave my mind but today is it literally the worst. I feel bad for him i think. I didn't really wanted to punch him. Does my dad feel like this everytime he hits me? I mean, Fisher didn't wanted to listen so i punished him.
The rest of the day i tried to avoid him and not look at him even if it is so damn hard to not to do it. He might think i'm some kind of creep, but it kinda worked. I'm suprised his overprotective friend didn't revenged or that they reported me. I literally was prepared to get my ass beaten up by Johnson. Did he defended me? Why should he? I punched him, i bully him and let my anger out on him and his friends. Why would he defend me? I don't understand. This all is so confusing.
I think i should apology, because this guiltiness annoys me, but i don't think he will accept it. I don't even know how i should do it and then there are those feelings. Goddamnit they piss me off. Maybe i should try to tell him how I feel? Oh God, i don't think i will ever do that. I can't look into his eyes and tell him such personal thing after all those bullying.
Maybe i should write a note and leave it on his seat? Sounds better than the other option. But i don't know what I should write. I doubt he would accept my apology nor do i think i will manage it to write down my feelings. But okay, there is no harm in trying i guess..
It's getting late, I have to pray and hide my diary, before my dad comes.
yuh thats really short lmao ik ik but all diary chapters will be kinda short compared to the other chapters 🦧 and also idk how other parents punish their children but my mom used the belt for me so i just say trav also get it sometimes just cause i said so
and also happy pride month yall pls remember yall are valid and loved ♡
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