My Hope is Yours

Guiding Light

Hajime buried his face in his hands and sighed. This... this was driving him insane. He couldn't just keep being perfect - he couldn't handle the pressure others placed onto him for it. Teachers, classmates, even friends....

"Hajime! Can you help me with the project?"

"Hajime! Can you be our sports substitute?"

"Hajime! Can you listen to me talk for a minute?"

It's all just 'Hajime do this' and 'Hajime do that', never just... how are you? How has your day been? How have you been feeling? Friends always come to him for problems to be solved... how ironic, as he feels like he can go to no one. He feels like he can't hang out with anyone, for fear of doing something wrong by accident and ruining his 'perfect' persona. People respect him because of it - even if he doesn't have an Ultimate, he's talented in other ways.

He couldn't allow himself talk to other people unless they needed something from him, he couldn't. But that left him feeling hollow, empty, as if something was missing, lost to the eternal tides of time, ever-flowing.

Alone.

His dorm room was quiet, as normal. His classmates were outside, together, having fun - as normal. Everything was as it always was.

He hated it. He hated it all.

The small window seat in his dorm room beckoned him over, and he sat there in the soft tranquillity of the late hours of the evening, watching his classmates below him, outside. They looked like they were having fun. Hajime sighed - why was he forcing himself to watch this, knowing he can't go and talk to them?

The isolated pains in his chest hurt more than ever, and he closed his eyes and pressed a hand against his heart, trying to maintain any sort of composure. After a few seconds of burning, raw, intense, despairful pain, he slowly opened his eyes back up again. He was drowning. Always drowning.

And no one was ever there to save him.

He was going to remain alone. Like he always has been. Like he always should be.

Forev-

"Hinata-kun?" A small knock at the dorm room door could be heard. Hajime knew that voice anywhere - Nagito Komaeda. Everyone knew Nagito - he was certainly the most unusual student at Hope's Peak. The most hope-obsessed. The most lucky... but also the most dangerous.

"Nagito...? He's never reached out to me before..." Hajime muttered to himself quietly, before walking over to the door and opening it (because what worth was he, if he couldn't even help other people? Even if he was stressed and tired, other people's emotions were more important than his own), smiling at the white-haired boy in front of him.

"Komaeda. What's the matter?" Hajime asked, trying his best to remain comforting. Nagito... was a lot cuter up close than Hajime initially believed. Just being close to the student made the pain in his chest lessen, and it took all he had in him to not audibly let out a sigh of relief as he felt those isolated emotions vanish.

"... what do you mean, Hinata-kun?" Nagito asked. "Nothing is the matter."

"Huh...?" Hajime felt confused. "Then why did you knock on my door?"

"Because I wanted to say hi!" Nagito replied cheerfully, waving a hand and smiling. "I'm not very good at introductions, but I'm Nagito Komaeda. I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student, although I don't tend to agree with it all the time."

"I- I know who you are." Hajime replied. Who didn't know Nagito Komaeda? "I'm Hajime H-"

"Hinata. I know. Reserve Course student, lover of orange juice..." Nagito continued to list things about Hajime, some of which Hajime was unsure he had told anyone in the school before. "... oh, and also incredibly cute!"

"Wha-" Okay, he was not expecting that.

"Did you not hear me, Hinata-kun?"

"..." He decided to push aside Nagito's question. "Anyway, you never answered me. 'Saying hi' is not a logical reason for deciding to talk to me. I'm sure you have many friends, why chat to me?"

"I don't."

"... you... you don't?"

"Mhm." Nagito sighed and walked over to the window Hajime was previously sitting at, sitting down at the space Hajime was previously sitting on, and tilted his head slightly, so he could watch the classmates below them both. "I'm just seen as trash, a freak, to them. I'm worthless."

"That's wrong." Hajime interrupted quietly, solemnly. "You're not worthless." He grimly chuckled and whispered to himself. "Not as much as me, anyway."

All of a sudden, he felt arms wrap tightly around him.

Due to surprise, for a brief moment he forgot to use his last name. "Nagito?! What are you- sorry, I mean Koma-"

"Call me Nagito, please." His words were whispered eloquently into Hajime's ear, like a sweet lullaby only for him and him alone. Hajime suppressed the urge to shiver. "You're not worthless, I promise." Hajime had just about a split second to feel embarrassed that Nagito heard him, before Nagito continued. "You've given so many people hope, including myself. Hajime, you work so hard - too hard - to spread joy to others around you. For once... it's okay to take a breath, to relax, to take care of yourself."

Hajime stayed silent for a long time. Nagito didn't move or speak, just keeping his arms entwined around Hajime's. And then Hajime finally spoke. "I'm sorry I just... I don't know how."

"Then let me show you. Let me be your guiding light, Hinata-kun."

"... Hajime. And... thank you."

As their hands slowly drew closer and then tightly clutched one another, Hajime felt that hole in his chest shrink slightly. It was still there, it might always be there, but with Nagito around... it might be something he can now handle.

He hoped Nagito stayed with him... forever.

Hi everyone!

So uhh this was... kinda like a vent? I just... idk I just started writing and... yeah. I'm fine though, don't worry about me.

I hope you enjoyed the fluff - and I hope to get a new komahina one shot out for you guys soon.

But for now...

Peachy out! 😊