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I will begin by asking you; the reader, a question: That question being, "What is Depression to you?" I encourage you to write or jot down your answer in an empty book or within the comments of the chapter below. Though your responses may vary in structure, they will all still be very similar.
You are loved. Read that over if you must.
Have you ever experienced that internal conflict where you can't decide whether you want to be in the company of your best friend, who you know loves you dearly, or if you'd rather be alone and occupied by your sad and intrusive thoughts. However; to you it's okay because it's allowing you to feel something within that empty void which has unreservedly built itself up inside of you.
Have you ever been getting groceries at the supermarket or taking notes down in class and tears unexpectedly began to form and roll down your cheek ? Then it deeply frustrates and confuses you because you had firmly believed that you were done healing or that you were finally beginning to recover from an uneasy or troubling situation in your life. That situation being the death of a love one, emotional or physical abuse from a parent/guardian, an event where you were bullied, an unexpected break up or a deep betrayal from someone you had once loved.
Do you ever get those random waves and bursts of sadness that seem to hit you out of nowhere? Be it at a function, at work, in a car or within the comfort of your own home?
Depression is laughing all day and feeling like you're on top of the world but being paralyzed by an overwhelming emotion of sadness when you lay down in your bed at night. Depression is smiling in public even though you're feeling miserable in the inside. Depression is also neglecting self care, forgetting to feed yourself, not having an appetite, your hair being unkept, not tidying up your room, forgetting to brush your teeth and or taking a shower.
I chose to list these traits of depression to show you; the reader, how actually common they are and that going through or experiencing these symptoms does not mean that you're "crazy," "nasty," "weak", a "failure" or "lesser" than anyone.
No one asked to be born, but from the day you wailed your first cry on this beautiful earth you became aligned with a special purpose, well mission as I'd like to call it. From as a small child you were taught that life is a gift and that you must be grateful for it. What you aren't told are the hardships, the disappointments, the constant episodes, and the heartbreaks that come along with it. You aren't told how there will be days when you want to give up and how there will be days when you end it all. During those days, I encourage you to search deeply within your life and find something worth fighting for, be it your child, your best-friend, your mother or a sibling, and if you don't have any of those, I encourage you to fight for you, fight for the individual you are in the 'now' and the individual you would want to see yourself as in the future. You have to fight through the bad days to earn the best moments of your life; take it one step at a time. Once you have understood and mastered this skill, you will have already began to fuel your drive and desire to live. As cliche as this sounds, I want to tell you; the reader, that "life won't throw something at you which you can't handle" and also that everything and I mean "everything happens for a reason", there's no such thing as a 'coincidence' if it happened, it was meant to happen. If you stubbed your toe and tripped on a rock it happened for a reason. If you bit your tongue while chewing a flavorful gum, that too happened for a reason, what's the reason you may ask? Well, you might have just been one chew away from a nasty cavity and that bite saved you. It's important to note that we won't always know what the reasons are, sometimes the reasons aren't within our reach of understanding.
Once you accept the 'bad' in a situation, you then begin to see the beauty and the lesson within it. Hard times exist to help you build and develop character in preparation for the challenges that may lie ahead. Hard times also equip you with the knowledge and skill needed to help those vulnerable people around you. As hard as I know it may be, I encourage you to look for the beautiful side of each battle you go through.
Connect with your God/ inner self/your higher being and pray that every open wound be bandaged and that every closed wound may take its time to fully heal and if you don't believe in a higher power, I want you to deeply believe in yourself and allow the power of your mind to manifest a healing through you.
Healing does not happen over night, so please do not be too harsh on your self. Again I will say "Please do not be too harsh on yourself" many people often make this mistake. Everyone heals differently; you and your friend may have both been through a traumatic incident, and your friend appears to have recovered from the situation at a much faster pace than you; I want you to know and understand that everyone's healing processes are different. So again, I encourage you to not be hard on yourself, just relax, breathe and give time; time.
Below I will list a few tips for those bad depression days:
1) Screw the "be strong" narrative; and allow yourself to cry if you need to, you are not a robot or an inanimate object, remind yourself that you are a human-being with real feelings. Allow yourself to connect with your emotions; it is only then you will truly inherit "true strength."
2) Get 10-15 minutes of sunlight, this will increase your serotonin. Your serotonin is your "happy hormone", it boosts your mood and helps you to fight insomnia. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Examine the clouds. Smell the flowers. Place your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin. Connect with nature.
3) Journal your thoughts; often times we prefer to battle our demons alone because we don't want to burden others with our problems but keeping them bottled up inside won't do you any good. Sometimes we believe that no one will truly understand what we're really going through. In cases such as this, a journal will surely come in handy, listen to your heart and allow the words to flow.
4) Listen to Music, but at the same time be mindful of the type of music you're listening to, music of all kind carries "energy". There is low vibrational energy and there is high vibrational energy. When we are depressed, we often listen to low vibrational music, we do this in order to be in tune with our emotions, sometimes we want to cry and don't know how, low vibrational music will come in handy in cases such as that. But if it's a situation where you're feeling down, and you want to raise your mood, I encourage you to listen to high vibrational music, music that is upbeat and loud! This is the type of music which will help in boosting your serotonin.
5) Step into the shower and allow the water to soak you from your head to your toe for as long as you need. It's fine if you don't have the energy to lather your body with soap. Just allow yourself to relax and meditate while the water flows.
6) Rest your body, Sleeping is very essential, having a good night's rest is key.
I will end this chapter by saying, "People don't fake depression, they fake being okay."
- Remember that you are loved, I am confident that you will triumph in your battle against depression. -
