Serendipity | Ninjago One-Shots II

she filled my life with colour | ninjago oc's next gen

Prompt: Gwen and Noelle Moment from the_quiet_jade

Featuring my OC Gwen from When Water Turns To Ice and its rewrite Project Artificial Love.

Title from the lyrics of The Mother by Brandi Carlile.
*****

You always thought you were ready to be a parent.

But let me tell you, you are not.

No matter how many kids you babysit, how many classes you take, or how many super boring books you read, you are never prepared for the slippery slope that is parenthood.

Gwen knew that being a parent would be hard. Gwen knew what she had been getting into. Gwen had seen all those parents and watched what they did. She followed her mom around asking questions for weeks. Then she had followed the social worker for even longer!

Communication was key when it came to kids and babies. You wanted to talk so that babies would get used to the sound of your voice, you'd sing to soothe them to sleep, and try and use their name as often as possible so that they will get used to responding to it.

That was easy for Gwen.

Gwen knew the rules. Gwen knew the language.

But Noelle couldn't hear or talk with her in the way that Gwen would be able to with other children.

So, that meant learning a whole new language and a whole new set of rules.

Gwendolyn was bilingual but she had grown up with the two languages she spoke. It had been built over years and years of life. Gwen didn't have years and years to learn. She needed to learn now. 

Teaching a kid while being taught yourself was hard. Gwen felt anxiety and fill her every time she messed up signs. She couldn't afford to mix up thank you with swear words. She couldn't afford to forget her own daughter's name sign.

Raising a child meant creating who that child was going to become. It was like a whole new type of test that determined the future of a tiny human being. But there weren't any do-overs. You couldn't take this test again. You were stuck with the mark you got.

Gwen worked hard. Harder than she ever had for anything in her life. She studied, she learned, she called friend after friend after friend. But no matter how hard Gwen tried she kept making mistakes.

She'd call to Noelle when she was touching something she shouldn't. She'd startle the girl by sneaking up behind her by accident. She'd make the soup too hot or a warm compress too cold. All these little things were stacking up and Gwen was lying awake at night wondering how on earth she could bring that score up.

Zane, of course, was a star. He would gently take Noelle's hand before she could hurt herself, he would make sure she was aware of where he was, and he would sign full monologues as a bedtime story! He never made the soup too hot or a warm compress too cold. He was perfect. As he always was.

And Gwen?

Gwen was wondering how she could compete with someone as great as that.

"It will come in time." Everyone always said.

"Just keep trying!" They'd encourage.

"Trust your instincts!"

But Gwen's instincts weren't working the way they should. She didn't have the time to try and fix them. So she was stuck trying and trying to push against all her bad decisions, only to result in the need to fix more.