Sareirias dare

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The gentleman: *talking with mr cheese*

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The gentleman: *talking with mr cheese*

Gnome: *comes in*. No no no no no no no

The gentleman: oh hey gnome-

Gnome: *punches the gentleman*

The gentleman: AH WHAT THE FUCK

Gnome: you are one of my very best friends and I can't stand and watch you throw away you or life like this

Gnome: your too young

Gnome: YOUR TOO BEAUTIFUL

The gentleman: what the fuck are you talking about?

Gnome: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now

Gnome and gentleman: *look at mr cheese*

Mr cheese: cya!

The gentleman: I'm not pregnant!

Gnome: well, after that punch you're not

The gentleman: I was never pregnant, gnome

Gnome: oh- a-are you sure?

The gentleman: yes I'm fucking sure

Player: I'm sorry but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

Gnome: oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and-

Player: *punches the gentleman*

The gentleman: AH, MOTHERFUCKER

Player: ok, I know we've had out differences in the past but I cannot stand by and let you ruin the cheer squads chances at nationals and we will not get there with you rocking a fetus fanny pack

The gentleman: I'm not..pregnant

Player: oh, well I just assumed..

Gnome: yeah, it does make sense

The gentleman: no, it doesn't make any sense I have told you guys repeatedly that I am saving my virginity for someone special, I have standards

Gnome: wow, so Nobel

Player: alright well now we've established that it's not the gentleman and his..back door...butthole standards..gnome?

Gnome: uh, my boyfriend doesn't have a penis or testicles

Player: right..

Player: and it can't be me because I'm halfway through shark week

Gnome and the gentleman: *look at each other*

Player: yea, I know what you call my period when I'm not around..

Player: So that means somebody else is pregnant, let's go find out who it is

Gnome: and congratulate them!

Player: no, mock them, ridicule them and tell everyone in school. This is school, not an episode of fucking Lizzy McGuire
---

Player: hey mother

Mother: yea what up?

The gentleman: what the fuck!?

Player: HOLY SHIT!

Gnome: awesome

Mother: *turns around with prosthetic arm* what?

The gentleman: y-you have arms

Mother: so do you, you want fucking metal?

Gnome: wait, didn't we rip her arms off?

Mother: oh you mean my new prosthetics? Yeah, I just got them today

The gentleman: ok, but like, why the fuck do you have two different prosthetics?

Mother: oh well that's kind of a long story

*flash back*

Mother: *at the prospect store*

Mother: the one that looks human? No. Robotic? No. human? No. Robotic? No. Both.

The gentleman: oh well that sounds like a perfectly rational decision

Player: so tell me mother, are you pregnant?

Gnome: oh my god, is it gonna be like, a robot baby? Is it gonna be a robot?

Mother: fuck no I'm not pregnant!

Mother: I haven't had time for dating lately, I don't know if you know this, but most guys don't want to fuck a girl with no arm, and the ones that do are very strange

Player: well if it's not you then- oh..ooohhh oh Jesus yellow fucking penguins yes! CMON GUYS
-

Captain and mr egg: *talking*

Player: oh hello mr egg and captain

Mr egg: *punches the gentleman*

The gentleman: OH godammit...for the last time...I am not...pregnant

Mr egg: oh I know, my sister said to give that to you, and my other sister said to give this to you *hands gnome a gift*

Gnome: oh, the cat in that hat comes back! I've heard really good things about this

Player: oh, I heard the news, congratulations!

The gentleman: I couldn't think of a better person to get fat then you

Captain: oh, good afternoon the gentleman

The gentleman: AND A GOOD FUCK YOURSELF

Mr egg: what the fuck are you bitches babbling about? What good news?

Player: the fact that the vanburins are about to add another pup to their litter

Gnome: *leans close to mr eggs tummy*

Gnome: you're so lucky, it's like being born into royalty

Mr egg: wait, what are you saying, that I'm pregnant?

Player: I wouldn't say pregnant, I would say, carrying what I only assume is the demon spawn of Satan inside of you

Mr egg: but that is specifically what your asking me right? Because I'm not

Player: WHAT!?

gnome: *holding up a positive pregnancy test* well then, who's pee have I been carrying around on a stick all day?

Stoner: hey captain, what do you think our babies gonna turn out as? French or American? Wait, don't tell me, I wanna be surprised

Player: wait, captain your pregnant!?

The gentleman: HA

Captain: oui, it's true, I'm carrying stoners baby, so it's my pee your holding on that stick gnome

Player: yeah gnome, put that thing away

Gnome: I- I-...sorry..

The gentleman: HAHAHAHAHHA YOUR FUCKING PREGNANT!? HA! THATS HYSTERICAL!? OH, AND YOU? YOUR A FUCKING IDIOT, YOU WEAR FOOTIE PJAMAS! *continues to die of laughter*

I know it's not the whole thing but that would take me absolutely forever to write so yea, I hope this is enough for you

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