The gentleman: *talking with mr cheese*
Gnome: *comes in*. No no no no no no no
The gentleman: oh hey gnome-
Gnome: *punches the gentleman*
The gentleman: AH WHAT THE FUCK
Gnome: you are one of my very best friends and I can't stand and watch you throw away you or life like this
Gnome: your too young
Gnome: YOUR TOO BEAUTIFUL
The gentleman: what the fuck are you talking about?
Gnome: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now
Gnome and gentleman: *look at mr cheese*
Mr cheese: cya!
The gentleman: I'm not pregnant!
Gnome: well, after that punch you're not
The gentleman: I was never pregnant, gnome
Gnome: oh- a-are you sure?
The gentleman: yes I'm fucking sure
Player: I'm sorry but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?
Gnome: oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and-
Player: *punches the gentleman*
The gentleman: AH, MOTHERFUCKER
Player: ok, I know we've had out differences in the past but I cannot stand by and let you ruin the cheer squads chances at nationals and we will not get there with you rocking a fetus fanny pack
The gentleman: I'm not..pregnant
Player: oh, well I just assumed..
Gnome: yeah, it does make sense
The gentleman: no, it doesn't make any sense I have told you guys repeatedly that I am saving my virginity for someone special, I have standards
Gnome: wow, so Nobel
Player: alright well now we've established that it's not the gentleman and his..back door...butthole standards..gnome?
Gnome: uh, my boyfriend doesn't have a penis or testicles
Player: right..
Player: and it can't be me because I'm halfway through shark week
Gnome and the gentleman: *look at each other*
Player: yea, I know what you call my period when I'm not around..
Player: So that means somebody else is pregnant, let's go find out who it is
Gnome: and congratulate them!
Player: no, mock them, ridicule them and tell everyone in school. This is school, not an episode of fucking Lizzy McGuire
---Player: hey mother
Mother: yea what up?
The gentleman: what the fuck!?
Player: HOLY SHIT!
Gnome: awesome
Mother: *turns around with prosthetic arm* what?
The gentleman: y-you have arms
Mother: so do you, you want fucking metal?
Gnome: wait, didn't we rip her arms off?
Mother: oh you mean my new prosthetics? Yeah, I just got them today
The gentleman: ok, but like, why the fuck do you have two different prosthetics?
Mother: oh well that's kind of a long story
*flash back*
Mother: *at the prospect store*
Mother: the one that looks human? No. Robotic? No. human? No. Robotic? No. Both.
The gentleman: oh well that sounds like a perfectly rational decision
Player: so tell me mother, are you pregnant?
Gnome: oh my god, is it gonna be like, a robot baby? Is it gonna be a robot?
Mother: fuck no I'm not pregnant!
Mother: I haven't had time for dating lately, I don't know if you know this, but most guys don't want to fuck a girl with no arm, and the ones that do are very strange
Player: well if it's not you then- oh..ooohhh oh Jesus yellow fucking penguins yes! CMON GUYS
-Captain and mr egg: *talking*
Player: oh hello mr egg and captain
Mr egg: *punches the gentleman*
The gentleman: OH godammit...for the last time...I am not...pregnant
Mr egg: oh I know, my sister said to give that to you, and my other sister said to give this to you *hands gnome a gift*
Gnome: oh, the cat in that hat comes back! I've heard really good things about this
Player: oh, I heard the news, congratulations!
The gentleman: I couldn't think of a better person to get fat then you
Captain: oh, good afternoon the gentleman
The gentleman: AND A GOOD FUCK YOURSELF
Mr egg: what the fuck are you bitches babbling about? What good news?
Player: the fact that the vanburins are about to add another pup to their litter
Gnome: *leans close to mr eggs tummy*
Gnome: you're so lucky, it's like being born into royalty
Mr egg: wait, what are you saying, that I'm pregnant?
Player: I wouldn't say pregnant, I would say, carrying what I only assume is the demon spawn of Satan inside of you
Mr egg: but that is specifically what your asking me right? Because I'm not
Player: WHAT!?
gnome: *holding up a positive pregnancy test* well then, who's pee have I been carrying around on a stick all day?
Stoner: hey captain, what do you think our babies gonna turn out as? French or American? Wait, don't tell me, I wanna be surprised
Player: wait, captain your pregnant!?
The gentleman: HA
Captain: oui, it's true, I'm carrying stoners baby, so it's my pee your holding on that stick gnome
Player: yeah gnome, put that thing away
Gnome: I- I-...sorry..
The gentleman: HAHAHAHAHHA YOUR FUCKING PREGNANT!? HA! THATS HYSTERICAL!? OH, AND YOU? YOUR A FUCKING IDIOT, YOU WEAR FOOTIE PJAMAS! *continues to die of laughter*
I know it's not the whole thing but that would take me absolutely forever to write so yea, I hope this is enough for you
YOU ARE READING
Among us logic dares 2 *discontinued*
HumorThis book is also finished, once again thanks everyone who helped me make it!