A Heartbeat Away

-ten

*****

One shouldn't be expecting anything from life and everything from it at the same time. Hopes are good, they keep you going. But expectations, they are draining. They make your life suffocating. That drown you in the puddle of hurt that you create for your own self.

She was now so much closer to the reality she ran all her life from. All what she was afraid of happening was happening. Her grip on life wasn't as strong as she thought she had anchored in these past years.

On the other hand, him. He was quite a mystery himself. He was inscrutable. He was not as he seemed. He knew how and where to draw blinds.

Coz even if they understand. They don't understand.

////

Zimal was losing her sanity coping with all of this now.

Nano caught her sitting in the hallway shuffling through the channels absentmindedly. She came and sat along. Taking the remote from her hand she shut the tv off. Nano started a conversation with her, and she could feel where it was heading to. She was convincing her now.

"Your parents wanted the same for you as i want Zimal bachay."

"Amma please."

"But Zimal-"

"Don't even try to emotionally blackmail me Nano, you know i respect you and i can't go against your decisions but i can't let someone destroy me this time. And please for the love of heaven, don't drag my parents here."

"Try to understand Zimal, what will happen to you after me? Who's gonna take care of-"

"Why don't you understand Amma, i hate him, i hate him as much as i hate living." Zimal's words broke her from inside, not because he was rejecting Zayan Ibrahim but the proclamation she just did about her life.

Zimal got out of the hallway in agony and rage leaving Nano alone there.

Her one statement made Nano question her brought up and how she's been keeping things within her, how miserably she had failed at being a friend, giving her the confidence to share her pain with her Nano. She was always so proud of the strong and independent Zimal that she forgot about the weak and fragile zimal that she was from within that she always put up a filter on.

Are you that strong now just because your Nano is weak now? Are you living just to take care of your Nano who's growing old and weak day by day? You always did what i told you to, this is the first thing in life you're being stubborn about. I won't force you if you don't want this. I want you living even after me. I can't do this to her. It's about time i let her heal and live for herself.

She went through a thought process that made everything clear for her. She couldn't hurt zimal anymore. She dialed Zayan's number sitting there.

"Hello? Granny?"