It's been an hour since I woke up and started watching him sleep peacefully beside me. He looks so naive and innocent contrary to everything we've done last night. I smiled at my recollection of last night's spectacles.
"Uhm." He mumbled as he unconsciously scratches his neck and then places his hand over my waist while still in a deep slumber.
I stare at his closed lids and noticed his thick and long eyelashes pointing downwards while he's asleep. I watch his facial features closely and notice a small scar on his cheek. I was tempted to trace it with my fingers but I'm afraid I might wake him. I wonder where he got it. I was always curious about other people's scars because I have a lot in my hands and fingers too. They were once small but deep cuts but now barely noticeable scars. But regardless of that little scar on his face, the view was spectacular.
"Um." He moved his lips as he swallowed hard.
"Ji An." He mumbled pulling me closer against his body. I smiled bitterly as my heart suddenly felt as if it was being squeezed tightly.
How can he mention another woman's name in his sleep while being in bed with me? I was tempted to smack his sleeping face with my 5 inches heels but I stopped myself when I noticed tears coming out from his closed lids.
"Ji An." He uttered with utmost gentleness in his voice. Tears still streaming down from his closed eyes. For some reason, my heart aches for him. Whoever that name on his lips must be someone very special to him. I wanted to hug him tightly and tell him to stop crying because it pains me to see him like this. For some reason, I wanted to protect him.
Despite the soreness of my entire body, I carefully removed his hand around my waist and got off my bed. I was wearing his long-sleeved polo shirt. Maybe he put it on me while I was asleep.
I picked up my scattered clothes on the floor and went inside the bathroom to take a shower. I removed his polo and stares at myself in the mirror. "What have I done?" I asked my reflection in the mirror brushing my fingers through my hair out of self frustration.
I know I don't regret giving myself to him, but what is this sudden rush of emotions that I'm feeling right now? I know I shouldn't expect anything from him but why am I hurting? Is this the price I have to pay for letting him enter my life without knowing anything about him?
I closed my eyes tightly as I took a deep breath. I took another glance at my reflection and noticed a very visible kiss burn on my chest. I forced a smile. Is this my receipt from last night?
I sighed as I entered the shower. I turn the shower on and closes my eyes tightly, letting the cold water fell onto my body, hoping it will take away all my worries.
When I went out of the bathroom, he's already awake. He's sitting on my bed. He already has his pants on but he's still topless. I remembered that I already put his polo on my laundry.
"Why didn't you wake me?" He asked in his hoarse bedroom voice. His bed hair looks so cute that I almost forgot that I'm mad. I wanted to ask about who Ji An is to him, but I realized that he doesn't owe me any explanation.
"I don't want to disturb your sleep." I finally answered as I walk towards my full-length mirror trying to be nonchalant about the fact that he's still in my room and I'm just wearing a robe.
"Are you okay?" He suddenly asked emerging behind me wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his chin over my shoulder. I watched his reflection in the mirror. He shuts his eyes tightly. I felt my body react to his mere presence behind me. Even on my thick bathrobe, I can feel the warmth of his skin. My face instantly turned red and my breathing suddenly became heavy.
