CONFUNDUS; harry potter [UNDER EDITION]

CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

"I fucked up, Alexis. This is bad. Real bad. Massive fuck up of the century."

"I'd rather think you saved their lives, however, they still need to destroy those Horcruxes and end You-Know-Who," Alexis' voice echoes in the room as Lucca paces in front of the mirror. "The fact you helped them to advance in this says a lot. It's not actually changing anything if they solved everything in your past life."

Lucca can't shake the feeling something is off. He has been locked up in his room the whole day, panicking and pacing and thinking. Gods and heavens, were Lucca less impetuous and he might do one thing right: such as mind his own business and stop placing Harry as another target of powerful deities. Alexis says he should trust his own nature and magic more, but Lucca's plans hardly come with good results. He has the talent to fuck up situations.

"I'm afraid this changes everything. What if he dies, Alexis?"

Alexis furrows her brows, hesitant. "Have you considered joining them in their quest? So you can protect him. More dangerous —"

"No. That'd be a risk."

"Or speed the end of the war."

Lucca snorts, incredulous. Hermione wouldn't want him there. She has been polite and perfectly civil in the time they've spent together after their explosive argument. However, Lucca is aware she doesn't fully trust his intentions but contains herself from snapping, far from oblivious at how Lucca's presence affects Harry. She considers him a distraction from the mission, even if she was the one to suggest they should stay. Hermione is testing the waters. She is waiting for him to fail, like everyone else does, and Lucca can't misstep here. Regaining Hermione's trust might be the hardest challenge Lucca ever faced.

"Lucca, dear, you're overthinking the situation," Alexis smiles kindly. "You're doing what you can."

Her intention is to calm him down from another maddening self-loathing but Lucca is deep into his mistakes to consider the things he has done right. It was disappointing and heartbreaking when Harry didn't jump into his arms as he thought he would. It was humiliating to think Harry remains loyal to his feelings when they both have grown in their skins in short months. They are not fourteen years old experimenting with first love. War has taken their good nature, their innocence. And they will never be those teenagers in love.

"It's not enough."

It'll never be enough, a voice in the back of his mind whispers.

"You're doing better than I anticipated," says Alexis. "But, as you know, this is not your responsibility. The offer to come here is possible."

"I can't leave him!"

How selfish of him! To still want Harry to be within arm-length from him. He can't hold him back, not when Voldemort grows stronger and Pandora is preparing to counter-attack the second she sees the opportunity. He has to stand on his ground and focus on what he has planned to do all along. He has to get rid of Pandora and then save Harry if needed.

"It's not cowardly to leave, Lucca. Some people might consider it an act of bravery."

Not Harry. Not Lucca. Not William. Lucca grew up with the constant reminder William was a disappointment because he left. Preston often referred to his auror partners who died on duty rather than flee for freedom. And Harry more than once stated he disliked Lucca's indisposition to battle on his side.

"May as well die for him," Lucca tells Alexis with gritted teeth. "I'm not leaving him. You can as well inform Milan and Venice of my choices."

His sisters, both furious at his reckless departure, haven't stopped mirror-calling demanding him to come back. Milan doesn't want him in the front lines. Venice wants both of them to go back to Argentina, threatening them to call their relatives. Lucca is aware once Abuelita Nora finds out what is happening, she'd drag them back home — even if she has to face Pandora or Voldemort herself. But Lucca can't leave Harry again. He can't keep running away.