Loving Every Bone in Your Body

Entry 3.13 || Lemon Balm

Lemon Balm, not technically a flower, but instead a herb. It's a symbol of sympathy and empathy. It also makes a fantastic tea.

Toriel's house was lively in the morning.

It had been every day since you'd returned.

Since your disappearance, the monsters in your family have stuck by your side, refusing to leave you for even a couple of seconds. They always had eyes on you as if they half expected for you to up and vanish.

They took turns staying by your side. You felt like a prisoner or a patient that always needed to be watched.

With what you had been through, you were glad they stayed close, though. Sometimes you worried that you'd blink, or wake up after finally going to sleep, and be back in the Underground.

You sat in the living room, tucked into the corner of a large L-shaped couch. You had woken up at ten, which was pretty later for breakfast, but everyone insisted on waiting for you. You couldn't bring yourself to wake up earlier if it meant sitting in a room of people who wouldn't stop staring at you.

Asgore sat close to you, a book in his hand and small reading glasses at the edge of his pink nose. He'd taken the spot next to you, boxing you in so that no one else dared to sit next to you. It wasn't that the ex-king was intimidating and scared the family members off. It was more so that he could look down any monster with his fatherly stare and old king glare and stop them in their tracks. He was seated there mostly because he could sense the palpable tension between you and Sans cooking up.

Since you had returned, Asgore had taken up that spot of making sure you were okay without ever directly asking. While everyone else obviously worried and fretted and made you feel forced to say, "of course I'm fine, don't worry about me", Asgore just sat with you. He wouldn't talk, unless it was to discuss something off topic. You don't know if he realized how much his presence grounded you or not, but it was nice. It was also nice that him being near you kept Sans at bay.

You still hadn't confronted Sans since you left. You avoided him as if he had the plague. You knew it was wrong and guilt wracked through you and physically made you ill every time you thought too hard about it. But you couldn't think about how to tell him- or any of them- that you couldn't remember your own life.

Even after everything you and Gaster had done... You still couldn't remember those ten years on the surface.

You felt like a stranger trying to lie and cheat your way into a happy family you didn't earn or work for.

Alphys comes downstairs, still yawning and rubbing sleep from her eyes. When she sees you she forces a large smile and then darts off into the bathroom. You sigh and pull the blanket tighter around you.

There's a clang from the kitchen and you glance back.

Toriel and Frisk moved around the kitchen, cooking at each other's hips as they prepared food for everyone. They had a full house to cook for, after all. Everyone you considered a part of your family was here. Though everyone had their own homes and lives outside of you, they'd been sleeping over at Toriel's to look after you.

Frisk had set it up as a way for everyone to hang out, but you knew it was so they could keep an eye on you. They still believed that you'd gone off, suddenly, in a fit of emotion. They had thought it'd been a breakdown that lasted over seven days. As far as they were aware, you had just been overloaded with stress and needed space from everyone.