Roomies (boyxboy)

Interlude

Interlude

"You guys broke up??!!" Chris spat out his iced coffee.

"Not really, but kind of." Cameron replied, handing his friend a napkin. "It's supposed to be just a couple of months, or whatever..."

Diego reached across the table to touch Cameron's hand. Cameron squeezed it and pulled gently away.

"Are you ok?" Diego asked, seriously.

They were sitting at a metal outdoor table, at a cafe, with a space heater/tower warming them up on this chilly December morning. Cameron was happy when he got Chris' text last night, asking Cameron (and Ryan) out to breakfast. When Diego pulled up in his car, Cameron stood by himself in front of Coach's house, looking a little worse for wear, in an old, faded hoodie and his favorite pair of comfortable jeans, his hair more askew than normal. Diego knew in an instant that something was up from the tired smile Cameron gave them.

Cameron sipped on his chai. "Am I ok? Not really, but kind of." he repeated, bitterly laughing at himself. "I thought I would die last time, but this time....maybe I'm just getting used to it."

"Don't say that." Chris said. "Don't. Even if he was the love of your life and he spit on you and reviled you and whatever else horrible you could imagine, no boy is worth dying for...I'm serious Cameron. You know that right?"

"Yeah, thanks Chris. I'm ok. I didn't mean it, really, like that." Cameron smiled wanly. And he didn't. He felt none of the extreme sadness and anger of last time. He just felt numb. It was so unreal. He was trying to win a battle within himself, to have faith that Ryan would come back to him. But his doubt was slowly gaining ground.

"Why, though? I mean, last time we all saw you, it was like, bleah, honeymoon love disgustingness." Diego asked, burning his mouth on his coffee.

"That was probably just the afterglow of really good sex." Cameron sighed. Diego choked on his coffee. Chris hit him on the back until Diego gestured he was ok. "You're killing me, Cameron," he muttered.

But Chris knew. "It was the selfie of you guys kissing, right? He freaked out when we all saw it?"

"Yeah. Bullseye. It was an accident, of course.  We went from planning our lives together to breaking up in less than 12 hours. I'm sorry. I'm horrible company. I feel like my life is a pity party. Can we talk about something else?"

 He didn't want to think about Christmas dinner. Hours in the kitchen cooking Ryan's favorite dinner, scalloped potatoes, steaks and roasted broccoli salad, and a homemade lemon meringue pie for dessert. It was supposed to be another Christmas present. When Ryan left, he had no choice but to still make it.  Everyone raved how good it was, but Cameron just smiled wanly. He felt so alone, and could only imagine Ryan laughing it up with Miranda's family, eating lobsters and caviar. He knew that actually wasn't true. He knew Ryan didn't leave him for Miranda, and that Ryan probably spent the rest of the day as miserable as Cameron was.

"It's my fault. I'm really sorry Cameron." Diego looked steadily at his fake boyfriend. Was he still his fake boyfriend?

Cameron shook his head. "It's really not. It's no one's fault; it's just life, I guess. What are you guys up to for the rest of the break? Please talk about something else."

Diego regaled them with his stories from work. "I have a cliche job Cameron. Can you guess what it is?"

He shook his head smiling.

"I work at Starbucks."

Cameron giggled. "Really?" He tried to picture Diego working the line with his green apron on.