1,426 words
i got carried away lmao and i made myself cry while writing
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Despite your painful breakup with Harrison a month ago, you still had the same circle of friends. It was awkward, but you loved all of them. They were on your side too even though you didn't say anything to them. Tuwaine FaceTimed you almost every night just to check on you. Tom sent you a 'care package' and it had your favorite food and a few skin care items in it. Harry sent you pictures of everything he saw that made you smile. Sam personally brought you food the next day. He was there when you cried. After all, five years was no joke.
It's Tom's birthday and naturally, you were invited. Well, it wasn't exactly his birthday. He just wanted to celebrate days before, so that he can celebrate his actual birthday with his family. Tom, Sam, and Harry were lucky to celebrate twice. You arrived at the restaurant with a big paper bag in your hand.
You looked around and saw Harry waving you over which made you smile as you made your way there. When you got closer, your smile dropped when you saw a girl next to Harrison a.k.a your ex that you still love because, again, five years is no joke. They were busy in their own little world, not noticing you sitting right across from them.
Noticing this, Harry said, "Sit beside me, Y/N! We have so much to talk about." You glanced at him and gave him a small smile, but you were hurting already. You sit beside Harry and set your gift down under your chair before talking about random things.
Harrison finally noticed you and he acted as if he didn't break your heart a month ago. It angered you and you had every right to feel that way. "Hey, Y/N/N! I didn't see you there. This is my girlfriend, Gracie. Gracie, this is Y/N."
You wanted the ground to eat you whole, but you plastered a fake smile on your face as you looked at her. She was beautiful and she seemed sweet. She was even shy when she greeted you and you had a feeling that she was genuinely kind. You glanced at Harrison for a second and saw that he was happy. He really was. He was laughing more and his smile was brighter. She really brought out the best in him.
You shook her hand and smiled. For real, this time. It was painful because it's not everyday you get to shake the hand of your replacement, but for some reason you felt light. Probably because Gracie wasn't a monster like the others and for that, you were thankful.
You never had closure with Harrison and maybe that's why after eating dinner at the restaurant, he pulled you aside and asked you if it was okay for you both to talk. You just nodded before catching up with Sam and Harry.
Tom decided it was nice to walk from the restaurant to the nearest club. He was walking hand in hand with Nadia and it was such a cute sight to see. Meanwhile, Harrison and Gracie were doing the same thing, but you shook it off. You wanted to move on, but it was hard knowing that Harrison was right there.
You planned on getting blackout drunk because you wanted to forget. You knew it was stupid because you'd remember everything the next day, but drinking helped a little and you've been drinking often recently. You were killing yourself painfully slow by drinking excessively, but Harrison's new relationship killed you and now, metaphorically, you were dead.
When you arrived at the club, you quickly went up to the bar and ordered yourself a few drinks before joining the rest of the group. They didn't even notice you. After downing five different drinks, you made your way through the club and spotted the group. You sat beside Sam and you smiled at him.
"Where'd you go?" Sam asked in your ear.
"I got lost." You lied, but Sam took it even though he knew that was a lie. Tom bought the first round of drinks and you quickly drank yours making everyone shocked. You just shrugged it off. The rest of the night was spent laughing, drinking, and dancing.
The twins were concerned about you, though. Tom and Tuwaine were concerned too. After all, they were your friends. Tuwaine noticed you were slurring your words and your movements were sluggish and that was enough for him to know that enough was enough. He gave you water and let you sober up.
"Is she okay?" Harrison asked.
"Yeah, she's fine. Don't worry about it." Sam snapped. He wasn't mad at Harrison, but he hated seeing you like that. Harrison was his friend, but he's just another guy and you'll find someone else too. You won't find someone new as soon as Harrison, but Sam believed that the guy for you was out there.
"I'll take her outside for some air." Sam said as he led you outside through the swarm of dancing, happy people.
The air was refreshing and it wasn't crowded. Sam stared at you as you took in the air before you finally broke down in front of him. "What's wrong?" Sam asked softly.
"He moved on so fast, that's all. It's like what we had was just a joke to him, Sam." You cried, making Sam tear up. He brought you in for a hug and you hugged back.
"Did he forget about me that quick?" You asked and it broke Sam's heart.
"I don't know, Y/N. I wish I knew." He frowned before pulling away. He wiped your tears with his thumbs. "You'll be fine, I promise you that."
"I-Is it selfish of me to wish that he isn't happier with her? And- And as much as I want to hate her so bad, I can't because she seems really nice and I can't bring myself to hate her. I have so many questions. Did he tell her that she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen? Did he mean it when he said that shit to me? Or was he just playing with me? Did he really love me?" You questioned as tears streamed down your face. You were a mess, but Sam allowed you to just go on. God knows how long you've been keeping all that to yourself.
"I can't let him go, Sam. Not yet. I don't have the heart to because deep down I wish that he would come back."
Sam smiled sadly and said, "We both know he's not the type to go back to his ex."
"I know. I guess that's why I can't let go because I thought I was the one for him. I thought we were it for each other, but I failed to notice that I wasn't the one for him. I think I'm bitter because she could be the one for him and now that I see them together, my past with him keeps flashing back. I want him back and I think I'll keep wanting him." You rambled as you wiped your tears away. Sam gave you his handkerchief and you gladly took it to wipe your face.
Harrison walked out of the club and he saw both of you. He rushed over to both of you and asked Sam if he could leave. Sam hesitated, but you smiled at him and he nodded at you before leaving.
"Are you okay?" Harrison asked. You nodded, "Never been better."
"Alright, that's good to hear." He chuckled. "I hope it wasn't awkward with Gracie. What do you think of her?"
The question broke your heart even more and you didn't think it was possible.
"She seems really kind and she's beautiful." You gave him a small smile.
He grinned, "Thank you."
"I hope you're happy with her. I mean it." You said softly, thanking God that your voice didn't crack because you feel a sob coming up.
"She's the one, Y/N. I can feel it. I'm really happy with her." Harrison said truthfully. "Anyway, I'll go back inside. I just wanted to ask you if it's awkward."
You didn't trust your voice, so you just shook your head. He gave you a quick hug before going back inside. You stood out there before walking home. You didn't care about anything at the moment. You just wanted to go home because tonight, your soul left your body as you slowly died of heartbreak.
