Lost and Insecure

Chapter 1

After much swearing and pacing, Meredith made a decision to save her fathers life. Not for him though, for her sister.

Lexie knew what it was like to have a loving, supportive, caring father. And Meredith didn't want to take that away, no matter who it may be.

"I'll do it. I'll donate my liver." She said as she stepped into thatchers room. "You-you will?" Lexie asked. The grateful look on her face made Meredith smile.

"I will." She replied, eyeing thatcher. "No, I can't accept. After all I've done to you..." the man trailed off. "It's not for you, it's for Lexie. I don't want her to lose you because I know what it feels like." Meredith said sternly.

"Thank you." Thatcher said after a moment of considering. "I'll go talk to Derek and check myself in." She said.

Meredith walked out and saw Derek at a nurses station. "I'm doing it." She said definitely. "You are?" He replied with a raised eyebrow. He didn't think she would.

"For Lexie. I don't want her to lose her father." Meredith said. "Okay. Are you sure about this?" Derek asked. "I-yeah." She answered. "Let's get you checked in then and tell Bailey."

Meredith and Derek told the nurse about the surgery. Once she was checked in, the two went to Bailey and Richard before Meredith got to her room and let them know the plan.

"You sure about this Meredith?" Bailey asked. "Yes. I need for everything to stop asking. I don't care about my father, I don't want him to die because I don't wsnt Lexie to know how it feels for him to leave." Meredith explained.

"Okay. Get in bed and sleep we'll schedule surgery for a few hours. No eating or drinking anymore, okay?" Richard said softly.

Derek helped Meredith get situated into bed. Lexie came in and grabbed her hand. "Thank you for doing this. Thank you so much." She said gratefully. "Your welcome." Meredith replied with a small smile.

She really didn't want to do this. She didn't need another scar to add to the collection. She didn't feel pressured, but Lexie needed her.

"Surgery has been scheduled in 2 hours." Bailey said. The nurse had hooked Meredith up to pre op antibiotics and fluids and she was sitting in her bed, ready to be cut open.

"Okay." She said in a timid voice. "Are you nervous?" Derek asked, climbing in to the bed next to her. "No." Meredith replied.

And that was truth. She wasn't nervous. She would have the two best surgeons operating on her. And a live liver donation was a commonly done routine. While it was major surgery on the patient, it wasn't too hard on the surgeons.

"You don't want to do this, do you?" Derek guessed. Meredith leant her head on his chest and shook her head. "You don't have to. Lexie would understand." He said quietly.

"Derek, you know how it feels to lose a father. Whether a father dies or just leaves, it hurts like hell, right?" She asked. She needed him to understand.

Derek nodded. "Lexie is my little sister. We have the same father, but she wouldn't make it without thatcher. I would be fine. She doesn't deserve for him to die. Not when something can be done about it." She explained.

"Okay. It's your choice, I just want you to be sure. I'll be with you the whole time, okay?" Derek asked. "Okay." She concluded.

About two hours later, it was time. Meredith was thanked by thatcher and Lexie many times more before she went in to surgery. "Okay Grey. Simple liver donation. I know you don't want me to ask, but are you-" Bailey started as they stood outside the OR doors.

"Yes, I'm sure. Now put me under before I change my mind." Meredith replied with a chuckle. "Shepherd, this is where you stop." Bailey said. "I'll sit by her head, I won't say a word." Derek said calmly.

"Shepherd-"

"Bailey." Derek cut her off. "This is my OR, you have to respect that Derek." Bailey said. "I do Bailey, but this is my wife your cutting in to." Derek argued. "Fine, but you leave after the first cut." Bailey said. Derek nodded.

Meredith smiled as Derek got his way. Bailey waved him in and they walked into the OR. While Meredith was transferred onto the operating table, Bailey, Richard  and Derek scrubbed in.

Bailey heard him take a deep breath and looked over. "You nervous?" She asked. "A little." Derek admitted. This was a big surgery for a patient to recover from. Derek didn't want Meredith in pain at all.

"There's nothing to worry about. Everything's going to be fine, Derek. Richard and I are the best general surgeons in the hospital." Bailey said softly as she stepped into the OR. "I know." He sighed.

"Okay. Are you ready Meredith?" Richard asked. "I am." She answered. "Hang on." Derek stopped. He looked at her and kissed her softly. "I love you. I'll see you when you wake up, alright?" He asked.

Meredith nodded and smiled. "I love you too. Try not to freak out. The surgery takes a few hours. Hey, Bailey?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah?"

"Make sure Mark or Owen or somebody keeps him calm." Meredith said. Derek smiled and smoothed back her hair. Bailey smirked and nodded.

The anesthesiologist put the mask over Merediths nose and mouth. "Count back from 100." He instructed. "100,99,98..." Meredith listed before quickly falling asleep.

Derek laughed and ran his hands over her hair as Bailey made this first cut. "Shepherd, time to go." Bailey said. "Okay." He Said with a sigh, kissing Merediths forehead before walking out of the OR and scrubbing out.

Sure enough, Owen was there with outside. "I don't need a babysitter." Derek said with a laugh. "Not a babysitter. Just making sure you don't lose your shit." He replied.

The two of them sat down in the waiting room and chatted for a while. Everything would be fine, right?