{Assassination Classroom x Reader}

Chapter 18: Distance

It was now the 9th of September. We're back in school and I've been distancing myself with the others for a week now. I ignore them and become a lot more colder and harsher than usual when I reply. At first, they thought I was having a bad day, but they are so wrong... Because all I did is shut them down before they could even make a conversation. My ankle is feeling all better now, so I can run and walk normally again.

Karma was definitely watching and when he get his chance to call for me, but I just walk away. When I'm partners with either of the guys or girls, I never say anything, so when it comes to reporting, they do it. I refused their invitation and hangout as well after class.

Nagisa was the first one to notice, but he have no idea on what's going on with me. Right at this very minute, it was my fear who's controlling every move I do. I hide and hide... and hide... Everything that's going on in my head, I bury them away at the deep end of my brain.

I have to stay the same... I don't want to return is sadness... Why?

It makes me feel weak like everybody else...

It makes me look like a crybaby like the rest...

It will give the people the chance to make fun of me...

If I get too attached, I will end up getting hurt. Just like before... I used to be very sensitive when I was a kid... Especially in words... So the whole week, I was just as cold as earlier when I enter E-Class... Tears are not worth it...

"I'm fucking alright, now leave me be..."

It was enough to hurt them from words as I distract myself from reading any book I can read. Just to get away from my classmates... "Nee-san, what are you doing?..." Rei ask, finally appearing to talk to me.

I didn't say anything and just avoid his gaze. "They can help you... Why are you pushing them away?" He ask. Once again, no response. He sigh when he finally realize why when I'm reading his favorite story book about machines.

"Nee-san, stop letting your fear control you... This classmate of yours is special..."

"You don't know what you're talking about..."

"N-Nee-san..."

"You were fine with it when I'm this cold back at the main campus. I'm just being me like the previous time I enroll here. Why are you disappointed about it now?" I ask, glaring at him.

"This isn't the real you. Stop being the girl I created after I got shot. I want the old you back. Please..." he pleaded, but I only turn away and shake my head in no. "No, Rei... I won't let myself feel that unforgettable torture you left in me again..."

"I'm not giving up on you... I'll return that joyful smile. I'll make someone return your smile! Just wait and see, big sister... I'm not about to give up on you..." he declared and give me one last hug before he fade away.

Rei... How are you okay seeing me get hurt... How can you accept the fact that I might experience and tolerate that pain again... I was back in reality when the bell rings before I stood up from my spot and went inside the classroom. I grab my PE uniform and rubber shoes before I went to the girls' changing room, seeing Hinano and Okuda talking casually until they saw me.

"Oh hey, Y/n! Wanna play with us before PE class starts? Hinano-chan and I are gonna play tag with Megu, Nakamura and Kayano after!" The scientist girl suggested, but I only passed through them and ignore their presence as I change.

"She doesn't hate us, right?"

"I don't know... She's back to being the new girl we knew..."

"Okajima didn't say something that upset her, right?"