present
5/31/21
11:09 pm
I'm doing it again, but I'm doing better this time. I actually cut people out of my life instead of distancing myself. I guess it has gotten worse. I'm doing what Lizzie hated, when I make myself alone so other people don't see how weak and stupid I am. Honestly I can barely get out of bed anymore, that is if it's not social time, but I barely take care of myself like I promised.
Ben said he had something to tell me. Then he stalled for two days, then he told me he would tell me after he got back from vacation. It's killing me. Why wouldn't he just tell me? Why? What if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. What if he thinks I like him too much, that I'm creepy. I don't even know when he's going to be back either. Maybe when he ets back we can gamble together or something.
I did the thing for the first time in a while. I'm disappointed in myself, and my arm hurts now. I still don't really know how to describe my emotions though.
I never thought that any kind of shit I made would have 1k reads. It's really weird. If you're reading this, Thank you. This is the 50th writing in my diary/book. Thank you.
Words:
monachopsis
hiraeth
fanaa
(223 words) completed 5/31/21 at 11:32 pm
