estranged

4. james

4.james

Michael nudges me and i'm pulled away from my thoughts. "Dinner's ready - hey are you ok?" he asks. "Oh.. um yeah im fine" i mumble. He looks at me weirdly for a second before walking down to the kitchen. I sigh and get up. Ive been thinking about what i should do about Russkirotof. I'm definitely going to go back later tonight, just to see how he is. Maybe i can give him some food or something. i make my way to the kitchen, tripping jack over as i do. He yelps and starts running after me, gripping something in his pocket. But i am in the kitchen now, and as everybody knows , misbehaving in the car is one thing, but the kitchen? No. this is sacred land. No one dares to do anything here on the off chance of messing with the food. Charlie pulls me over to the table, grinning as he points to a small flower in a cup . "i made the table all fancy now" . i nod half-heartedly and his face falls. "You dont like it?" he asks, horribly disappointed . "no..no. sorry im just, thinking about something. It looks very pretty. You did a good job" i say. Snapping back out of my thoughts about Russkirotof . charlie smiles again. Mum puts our food down on the table and Michael goes off to get dad . charlie sits down next to me as usual and waits for dad to come in but i just start eating, scooping some into a little container as i do. Michael comes back with dad and he gives mum a small kiss before sitting down with her , they start chatting about the meeting and about "leon" this and "leon" that . he's probably about the only person who talks at the meetings but im still sick of him being the only thing to talk about after them. He's like a brother. Sort of. I mean he lived with us for a few years because mum found him as a baby after big skirmish over the city ended and his father disappeared. He had a sister i think . although mum couldn't take care of both of them so someone else took her in . but she's gone now. But i dont like him. He's just annoying, too orderly and strict and just annoying in general. I have no idea why people like him. I mean he does sort of do half of all the jobs here but still. Jack dosent like him either . which is about the one thing we have in common. So i must be right. Jack leans over and places his hand on my leg, i see the smoke before i feel it . I scream and fall backwards off my chair, trying to extinguish the flames on my pants , jack is cackling at me all the while. Mum throws some water on my leg which extinguishes the fire . "jack! Go to your room, right now!" she yells. he snickers and Mum glares at him , "we'll be talking about this later.". Jack falls silent and looks over at me, i flip him off and grin. he starts putting the lighter in his pocket again but mum isnt having any of that. "Jack. now." , "yea yea i know" he grumbles, handing it to her . and he leaves , slamming the door to his room when he gets there. i suppose i should be more upset, but then again, not like he hasnt gone completely off the deep end and devolved into an arsonist . he wouldnt actually hurt me, but still.  Mum sighs. Michael and charlie and dad just sit there awkwardly . "um.. Im just going to go. Yknow.. Get new pants"i say. Mum nods and starts cleaning up with Michael.

I get to my room, put on some fresh clothes and sneak out of the window. This is probably the first time jack has actually helped me, accident or not. Mum will probably think i just left to go see some friends or something, so thats good too. I get my bike and start riding to the meeting hall (well, i mean that not what its called but thats all its used for, so.).it'll take me at least half an hour but i dont mind. My legs are hurting but i just keep peddling , listening to the crickets and enjoying the cool night air on my face. Eventually i get there and i walk my bike over to where Russkeritof was. I look around the corner and sure enough, there he is, slumped against the wall. I thought he was sleeping and i was a little happier for a second until i saw that his face was flushed and there was a bottle of something next to him. I sigh and shake him softly "hey, hey wake up." i whisper . he groans and mumbles something so i keep shaking him. "I got you food, i mean , if you want it. And um . i thought we could just, talk a bit" i say. He shakes my arm away, "gettoffme.." he mumbles. I step back and watch him struggle to pull himself up, i cant help myself and put my arm around his and help him to his feet. He makes a sort of squeaking noise and staggers back, tripping over himself again. I dont know what to do. He's too drunk to listen to me, but then again, i dont know if he wouldve listened anyway. I carefully take the container of food out of my pocket and place it on the ground near him, and then i just sit down a little bit away from him and watch him. "Look, your dad wont know i was here. I just wanna talk, ok?" i ask. He stares at me. I nudge the container towards him a little bit and he reaches for the bottle again, his face falling even more once he realises it's empty. We sit in silence , watching each other carefully. The moonlight is reflecting off his hair , turning the dull gray into silver. His hand twitches towards the bottle again but he keeps looking at me, and the strangest feeling washes over me. Im filled with a weird mix of joy and nervousness and all i want to do right now is be here with him. I find myself edging closer and he pulls himself back, panic all over his face . "s-stop. stop it!" he yells. "Y-you can't.. You cant d-do this .. you c-cant be here. i.. I told you to l-leave.." he goes quiet for a minute before saying in a very very small voice, "p-please.." . i think for a while. I dont want to leave at all. But the whole point of this was to help, but i finally think of a good solution. "I'll leave if you take the food. Or else, no." i say triumphantly. He glares at me. "I'll f..fight you i-if you dont l-leave..". I stop. I don't think he's bluffing, and i could get seriously hurt from this if i do the wrong thing, but I keep my confidence and look at him straight in the eyes . "you're too drunk to do that. You'll just end up hurting yourself. So just take it. And then i'll leave you alone". "Fine" He spits, Snatching the container off the ground. "But d..don't think i-im going to e..eat it..." he mumbles. I smile but all he does is glare at me again, the darkness turning his already extraordinary eyes into a deep indego which burn into mine . "leave. n-now. " he says. And i can tell that he's pleading. "Ok. i'll go now" i say quietly. I start to walk away from him but i remember something and i turn back. "Hey.. um. I was just wondering. I mean. I know your father dosent like me or anything. But. if there was some way around that, would you want to be friends?.. More like allies i mean. You know.. In case there's a fight for the city again or whatever?" i ask. He says nothing. "Yea.. probably a bad time.." i say quietly. What are you thinking? You dont even know him, his dad hates you. As if he was going to say yes. Well, he is drunk, so who knows that could happen. Theres still a chance. I walk back to my bike and cycle home. Im not satisfied, But i feel a little better now. And i hope he does too.