estranged

17 james [WIP]

I am extremely confused. Three things have happened today that i didnt think would ever happen to me. One: leon came to our house about something other then tax. Two: i received a note from him. Three: leon didnt know what was happening . those alone are all very strange, but all together is even stranger. He said it was from russkeritof, and that it was something about not talking to him ever again. That made me tear up. obviously i didnt cry in front of leon, but it was very hard not to.. But then i decided to be optimistic and assume its actually about him wanting to be friends instead of not, and that he had told leon that to make him shut up about stuff, and that made me feel better. But anyway, i have received a note from russ. This note appears to be in some form of code. Either that or this is confirmation that russ has the worst handwriting in the whole wide world. I cant read this at all, i swear its not even in english. But now it is up to me to decipher this code-writing and save the day.

I bring the note to my room and get to work, carefully reading over the note and writing down anything i think may be important. I give up after 10 minutes. Its pointless. I could probably try to see him and ask him about it. If it really is about him not wanting to see me, then thats it. But even just thinking about that makes me feel empty. But i cant go to his house, i said i wouldnt. I dont know how to fix this. But then again.. I didnt specifically promise.. Its a bad thing to do, i know that. Maybe i can find someone to read it for me. 

[dead space, theyre gon meet somehow lmao]

"Wanna go shopping?" "h-huh? Oh.... i um.... . i dont have any money on me..." russ mumbles. "Dont worry, i can pay for stuff. And it'll just be for a snack anyway." i tell him. He says nothing, but this is just a chance for me to get to know him more i suppose. We're pretty close to some good stores anyway, and im hungry. "C'mon." i tell him. Russ sighs, but reluctantly follows me. Russ looks at all the lights as we go past shops and buildings and once or twice he even smiles a little bit when i point out crude graffiti on traffic signs. Im beginning to believe there is more to russkeritof then i originally thought. I stop outside of a familiar shop. Ive been here many times, its some kind of asian goods store, but its got loads of nice things. I lead russ inside to scavenge for sugary trash. They have japanese sodas in here, i make sure to grab some. Russ says nothing to me the whole time. He looks kind of distant as he watches over the small isles of packaged goods, almost mournfully. He looks incredibly out of place, easily looking over the tops of isles in this petite little store. I like how his hair looks in the warm pinkish glow from the overhead lights. I nudge him a little bit, "hey, you want anything?" . russ shakes his head, still silent. I sigh quietly, but i let it go. I pay for my drinks and little snacks , thank the shop owner and leave. I see the owner eyeing russ as he leaves. The sun is going to set soon, and the clouds are already turning an orangey-pink. Russ follows me around as i pay a visit to a few other stores before stopping in front of the more well-known general store. "Russ?" i turn back to look at him. Russ sucks on his teeth for a minute before looking back at me . "i'm going here. You can wait." im sort of taken aback at the abruptness of this. "..ok? Uh.. or i can follow you, maybe?" . russ shrugs and walks in. the sliding doors squeak loudly as he does. I dont really know what to do, just wait here i guess. Eventually my curiosity gets the better of me and i push open the doors and go to find russ. This store is much bigger then the others, but luckily for me, russ is much bigger then most other people too, so it isnt hard to find him. Hes at the checkout already, fiddling as a depressed-looking cashier scans his food. But he dosent have money? from what i can see, theres tins of powdered milk and other tinned foods , as well as things like crackers and two loaves of bread. I walk closer to him and catch the cashier finishing with the food. "That'll be 20 even."

she looks pretty, with auburn hair tied up in a ponytail. Shed probably look prettier to me if i wasnt gay, but it looks like this job is sucking the life out her as it is. Russ fiddles with a note and several coins in his hand, and his face falls. The cashier eyes him, evidently incredibly bored. A scratched pin on her blouse reads "trisha" in red letters. What an outdated name.

Russ fidgets more "I um... w-wait maybe i miscounted.. Give me a second" . the cashier roles her eyes, but waits for him. I walk up to russ and catch him mumbling to himself as he counts up the coins in his hand "11..13..15.. Dammit!.." i tap him on his shoulder gently "hey, uh.. Everything ok?.." he wheels around, seeming to recoil at my touch as he does. "What? No- i mean.. Yes, everything is fine. Im just.. Trying to finish this, dont distract me." "i thought you said you didnt have any money?..." i say. As seemingly innocent as i tried to say it, it still came out very accusingly. He repays me with a cold glare .

"are you going to pay any time today?" trisha calls. I can feel the angst dripping from her voice. Russ slowly pushes the money across to her. She looks down at it, then back at him. "That's 15." "..i know.." russ says quietly. "Well, i cant just give you these if you dont pay for them. Either go put 'em back or im gonna have to get you out of here " says trisha. Russ rocks back and forth on his heels for a minute, looking over the small pile of cans as he does. "...yeah.. I'll go put some back.." he says finally, but im way ahead of him. I slap 5 dollars down in front of trisha. "20 dollars, thank you for the groceries." i say, scooping the cans and bread into a plastic bag hanging from the end of the checkout. Russ steps back, "w-wait-" "bye bye!" i call to trisha , pulling russ and his bag of cans out of the store. Russ snaps as soon as we're out of the store "what did you do that for?!" he cries, panicking. "Russ.. calm down. I was just doing you a favour... thats what friends do.." i tell him calmly as i hold out the bag. "Im not mad about the money, cause i guess this was for something important or secret. But the important thing is that you have it now, so just take it." russ hesitates for a minute, but common sense eventually gets the better of him and he cautiously takes the bag from me. Our hands brush together for a second as the bag passes between them and i am so damn close to squealing out loud, but miraculously , i don't. Russ does not look at me. Its silent for a little while, Occasionally being disturbed by the whoosh of a passing car or two every so often. We both have not moved."hey.. Its um.. Its getting late.. I should probably be heading home soon or something.." i say, loudly and mostly to myself. Silence. Russ' silly fuzzy hat is all golden from the evening light, you can see all the tufts of hair that stick out from under it now, i wonder how much he's really got under there. "This was um.. This was kinda cool, yknow? Even if we didnt really do anything amazing or anything- i mean, i enjoyed it-.." .nothing. I sigh, feeling the heat of humiliation set in. "well um.. See you later then.. Good luck with, whatever it is you bought those for.." i say, again, it seems only to myself. Its ok, its ok. Hes just warming up to you. Its ok. Is it though?. I think this over to myself as i give russ an awkward little wave and begin walking back the way i came, fighting the urge to look back over my shoulder to see if russ is looking as me. Im such a loser like that. I round the corner and begin walking home for real this time, but i stop as i hear footsteps behind me. I cant help but smile a little bit as the shadow of russkeritof dwarfs me. We walk in silence for a little while, i admire the neon from steet signs slowly start to glow as the sun sets more and more. I hear russ sigh from beside me and find myself looking over at him. He looks tired. Older almost. Worn out, Like those kind of old floppy dogs you see sauntering around in the park. He tilts his head up to the sky for a minute before sighing again, more to himself this time and looking at me. "We are going the same way.... I guess it is less boring walking with someone the walking alone." "yeah, it is. Thank you for walking with me." i say airily. Russ nods a little bit and we keep walking. Eventually the stores and road tappers out into houses , and then full blocks. We get to a corner and both stop as we turn the opposite way, turning back to look at eachother. ".. well, this is my stop.." i tell him. I cant read his expression, although maybe its just the darkness making it harder. "Do you know how to get home from here?" i ask . he nods. We stand in silence again. A full minute passes, i counted. "..well.. Goodbye then.. Maybe i'll send you a note next time and we can just kinda chill or whatever." i tell him. Im met with a blank face again. I sigh and start to walk away, but i hear russ inhale sharply from behind me."W-wait.." .i turn back to see him fidgeting with his shirt again, its hard to see his face as his face casts a shadow over his eyes. Theres another moment of silence as he fidgets before sighing. "...thank you...i-iguess... for the money- or whatever... i dunno.." i smile. "No problem. See you later, friend." russ gives me a kind of little wave and i hear him repeat "friend.." to himself. Then he's gone. I realise now that this is not going to be easy in any way. But at least i spent today with the wonderfully curious russkeritof. It might just be me, but i think he might be warming up to me. At least a little bit.