estranged

11. leon

11.leon

I make my way to finnley's house, i could just drive, but its a nice walk, at least until you actually get there. It's been a while since i checked up on him, which i feel pretty bad about.. Finn is my best friend , well. Best friend along with karter , alexsander's older brother. He was pretty much my first friend but there's a lot of silent competition between him and finn for friend-supremacy, it's honestly kind of flattering. But it's not a competition ,i care about them both equally . i get to finn's house and knock on the door, i dont expect an answer but i wait a few minutes anyway. I knock again "finn? Are you in there?" . nothing. I sigh and let myself in, stepping over animal bones that've been strewn around on the floor. It looks even worse then the last time i was here.. i guess i'll just have to clean for him. Finn is asleep on the couch, bottles of alcohol litter the floor next to him and an open pack of cigarettes are sitting on the arm of the couch. It mustn't have been a good week for him.. I shake him softly "finn?" .nothing. I shake him harder, "..hmm?.." murmurs finn. "Hey, come on, wake up" i say. "Nah...." "come on." finn groans and i sigh loudly, "fine. You can have 10 more minutes." i tell him, but he's already falling asleep again. It's not really his fault things are this bad , i'll definatly pick up more medicine for him from elis, it dosent seem like his depression is getting any better , but i dont see it getting that much worse either , which is good in a way. I start picking up bottles and trinkets, ordering them neatly on shelves. I dont tamper with too many things here, after all i cant tell what he's actively using ,what with everything being so disorganised , but i throw away the shattered glass on the floor, as well as his cigarettes, i really need to get him to stop doing this. After the house has been changed from complete disarray to vaguely acceptable i go to wake finn again. This time i sit him up so he cant fall asleep again. "So.. how have you been , finn?" finn yawns and shrugs sleepily, sweeping his fluffy blonde hair back over his face with his hand. "bad i suppose.." he mumbles. "Want me to get you anything?" i ask. Finn shrugs again. I sit down next to him and he pulls his hat down further. We sit in silence for a while and then finn chokes out a mixture of a sob and a laugh. "Finn?.." "i..im sorry" he sniffles "i-its j-just all b-bad.. Everything's bad..." he leans into me and starts crying. I hold him and let him cry, sometimes it is best to flush out negative emotions. "Im sorry finn... what happened?..." finn says nothing, he just cries and cries. I dont know what i was expecting, this was all probably just another depressive episode.. "How about some food, alright?" i say. Finn nods meekly and i give him a pillow to cuddle while i go to see if there's anything edible in his pantry. Its been hard for finn, ive been so caught up with my work that i have neglected my duties towards him, he's practically living off instant-noodles now, i have no idea how he's managing to survive when he dosent have a job yet, but now is not a good time to push him towards that. I'll have to make sure i keep an eye on him, he looks a lot worse then last week. I dont think he's eaten much, which is understandable, i tend to ignore or downright forget the urge to eat when i'm stressed. But i must be careful, only a month ago a depressive episode turned into a suicidal one, thankfully i was able to stop the bleeding in time and get him to a hospital. He's a little better now, but still teetering on the edge . It's a scary thought, that one day i could come back and he wouldnt be breathing, but i trust him to ask for help when he needs it, and there is no point in living life in fear, because then you will miss all of the precious little things which you never bothered to notice before, shielded by your worries. I'm off on a tangent now .the important thing is that he is alive, and i hope to keep it that way. There's truly nothing in his kitchen to eat except for a half-bottle of alcohol and some sugar. I'll need to go shopping, but i cant leave him here in this state alone. I walk back over to him and pull his hat up so he can see me "i'm going to call karter, alright? Company will make you feel better and he can bring some food"Finn nods again "that'd be nice..." "alright, well you just stay here, ok?" another nod. I fluff up the pillows around him and offer a sympathetic smile. I do feel bad for making karter buy it though, i must remember to pay him back. I walk out of the room and call him , he picks up on the third ring. "H'llo?" "hello karter, i was wondering if you'd be able to and want to come over and pick up some food for finn? He's upset." "oh, yeah sure. It might take a little while though, what does he need?" karter asks. i spend some time listing off the essentials as well as little treats and things and anything else i can think off that he may need. "Alright, i'll see what i can find." "thank you" "no problem, and before you say it, 'cause i know what it is. No, you cant pay. he's my friend too." i feel my face