Facing Love

Chapter 10

"Don't forget to turn in your assignment everyone! I'll have them graded by tonight." Shit. That stupid assignment slipped my mind.

"Don't worry, I have it." Derek stood up to turn in the work that he did most of and a feeling of guilt took over.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I wish I would've done more of the work. I don't want you thinking that I'm using you or anything."

"Its alright, really. This was easy. Once we get to the hard stuff then I'll pile it on you." There it was. His smile. His smile could cure stress. In fact I feel more at ease when he smiles at me. Especially right now. Derek caught me staring. He made it seem like Saturday never happened. "What's wrong?' I snapped back to reality.

"Nothing. I was just going to say that I'm sorry about the other night. But it almost seems like I must have been dreaming that."

"You think I'm a overly sensative, hopeless romantic, don't you?" I couldn't help but smile a little, he always knows what I'm thinking. "You're wrong. I don't hold grudges either. I get over things usually right after they happen."

"Ouch."

"I didn't mean it like that Jamie. I'm saying that I want another chance. Fresh start."

I was so confused. He never fails to surprise me. This was my chance to end this, to tell Derek to fuck off and be done with him. I could also grow a pair and give whatever this was another chance.

"I-I can't. Not right now at least. I know we have to be partners in this class, so I don't want to make this awkward between us. I just think w- you, you need to rethink this. And after awhile if you still want to, then we'll see."

"Wow. Okay, wow. I'm not going to sit around waiting for you to make up your mind. I know what I want, Jamie, but whatever I guess. I'm not mad or sad about this, I just would've thought you out of all people would take risks."

Wow. That's all I could think. I couldn't even think of a response for him. I think we ended it? Broke up? I don't know, whatever the fuck happens after one date with a guy. He didn't seem hurt or sad, which sort of disappointed me. Was that my intention? To see if he'd fight for me? I'm not mad either, I did want this to end before it got worse.

My eyes kept scanning his face for a sign of emotion, but.. nothing. I sat back for the rest of the period which luckily flew by.

Tuesday and Wednesday also came and went. It didn't feel like a Thursday. Things between Derek and I were alright. We talked as if last weekend didn't happen which to me, was a blessing. I liked us better as friends, none of that hand holding dating crap. Okay, okay, I did miss holding his hands. They were so big and warm while mine were the complete opposite. Fire and Ice I called us. It was the perfect way to describe us, both physically and emotionally.

That afternoon, I arrived to an empty house. My dad had the day off, so I was pretty worried when I hadn't received a call or text from him. This has happened before, during the worst time of our lives. Flashbacks take over and I began to search around the house. My fear of where he might be came true when I found empty beer bottles scattered underneath the couch and behind the couch pillows. The wall was wet so I knew he must have ran out and got angry. Before I knew it, tears were rolling down my face and fear took over. It was taken over by disappointment and sadness when I realized that he took the car. I was also angry because there was no reason for him to be drinking. Something must have triggered him. I rushed to grab my phone and dialed his number as fast as I could. I didn't know what I was going to say to him, but I needed to know that he was alright. At this point, I was a mess of tears and emotion. He wasn't picking up. I didn't know what else to do. I grabbed my jacket and keys to go find him. As soon as I was ready to leave, I see him pull up in the driveway. My nerves relax a little until I noticed the wrecked car. He stumbled into the house, highly intoxicated. I couldn't even recognize him. His nose was bruised up and bleeding and now I know he was in an accident.

"Dad, oh my God, dad are you okay?! Please talk to me, what happened? Why did you do this to yourself!" I was bawling my eyes out. I haven't seen this man since I was nine. He looked lost, and hungry.

"Emma, come here baby."