Facing Love

Chapter 3

"Okay.. Why Jamie?" what.

"What do you mean?"

"Why is your name Jamie?" a playful smirk appears on Derek's face but his eyes hinted out that this was a serious question.

"Is that really your first question?" I can't help but laugh a little. I'm giving him twenty questions and he used one up on my name?

"Don't worry, I'll get to the juicy stuff later." At this point we're both laughing. I'm probably more relieved that he asked this simple of a question, but what could he possibly want to know about me?

"Okay.. Uhm.. My dad isn't really good at names, so he thought of a unisex name just incase I came out a boy and he wasn't prepared. It works though, I think Jamie fits me really well." Before he could continue on about the reason for my name, I quickly spit out the dumbest question I could think of. "So why do you have two first names?" Immediate regret afterwards.

Instead of wondering about my quick response, Derek laughs and fires back. "Why do you have a unit of distance as yours?" I'm glad he was taking it easy on me. He saw that I shifted uncomfortably before we started, assuming I thought he was going to be cruel. I definetly feel more at ease especially with all the laughter and his smile shining.

"Touchè" I tossed him a piece of pepperoni and he shockingly caught it. "By the way, that counted as one of your questions." Finally succeeded at his smirk.

"Fuck. Okay, what do you like to do when you're bored?"

"Sex." I tried to make a joke out of that but Derek shifted uncomfortably. Once again, he had me having to second guess everything I say. "But I mostly love to sleep, run, or listen to One Direction." He smiled when I mentioned One Direction and I knew what was coming next.

"One Direction? Really?"

"Yeah, what's so bad about them?" The tone of his voice kind of pissed me off. I guess he figured that out and tried to calm me down about it.

"Nothing! Nothing- you just don't seem like the type of girl that would listen to them. I have nothing against them, I'm just not interested." Derek's smile was comforting, so I tried and eased up the awkwardness forming over this stupid situation.

"You just have to give them a chance," shooting up my cheesiest smile, "that's another question."

"Hey if that's how this game is gunna go, then your 'Is that really your first question' question one of your questions.. you get it right?"

"I think the word question should be considered a question." Dereks throws a pepperoni at me, and my slow reflexes didn't react until it landed on my sweater and we both laugh and the stupid "kung fu" moves I had just made.

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Derek and I spent half an hour in his kitchen making our "20 questions" into a game of "Would You Rather." Thirteen rounds of Would You Rather to be exact. It was fun to be honest. I have never laughed so hard in my life. It felt nice to actually laugh. Genuinely laugh. My dad's funny and all, but I mostly laugh at his jokes to make him feel better about himself. Derek has taken my mind off of everything going on outside his doors. I was scared that after I left, we would just go back to being chemistry partners..

I realized that we only had four questions each left to answer. I didn't want to waste my last questions but I still knew nothing about this kid. Before I knew it, my mouth began to say my thoughts.. "Are you a virgin?" I didn't know why but I was scared to hear his answer.. Considering of my last few years of high school.

"Yes I am," I've never heard someone so eager to answer that question. The worrying in me quickly faded. "It may be a shock to you, considering my amazing sex appeal, but yes I'm a virgin. Sex was never on my mind, especially right now in high school. It sounds cheesy, but I'd rather wait for the right person."

I couldn't help but smile at his response. Derek was so pure and innocent. Let's not forget sweet. I couldn't imagine anyone breaking his heart, he never deserves to go through that. That's why I should never let him get attached to me. Not romanticly atleast.
Derek decides to up the game and became serious. When he's serious there's a sense of comforting. He gives you his full attention and wants you to feel comfortable with him. It made it easier for me to talk to him. "Why won't you let anyone in? Jamie, you're amazing. You have a unique personality that catches my attention. You have to learn that there are good people in the world who wants to be close to you."

I knew the answer to this like the back of my hand.."When you get attached, you get hurt. Things may be going well at first, but then jealousy creeps up. It takes your trust and beats the shit out of it. That broken trust leads to angry fights and words that you can't take back once they're out there. True feelings come out and that's when you realize that you're only hurting yourself. Let's say nothing wrong ever happens- after months, maybe even years, of being open with that person, loving them, trusting them- how do you just let go of those memories when it reaches that point of collapsing because it will. Then when you look at certain things they'll remind you of that memory and you realize how happy you were and how sad you are. I'd rather not waste my time with any of that, especially in high school. The last time I felt that kind of pain was when my best friend moved across the country. Ever since that, seeing her fight her parents because she wanted to stay here with me, I didn't want to be the cause of other people's pain. I had to let her go and I still mourn over that. Cas was the only person who I opened up to. The world's a fucked up place and took her away from me. I can't go through that again." I saw the look on his face that brought me back to sanity. Derek listened to me and little does he know that this was the most I've opened up to anyone since Cas- not completely, but more I expected.

Derek reaches out for my hands and for a split second, I felt something inside. I flinched away before letting him grab a hold of them. His blue eyes caught mine and I couldn't help but stare at them. "Would you please let me in?"

I wanted to reject him right then and there. Tell him that I didn't want him to. He shouldn't. But before I could think, the word How slipped out of my lips, his hands still holding mine.

"Well.. Since you paid for pizza tonight, injuring my poor arm while you stormed the hallway.. Let me take you out. On a serious date, none of this chemistry homework date. We'll take baby steps I swear, just give me this chance," before I could answer, "pleaseeeeeee?"

I shake my head in confusion but the smile on my face was enough for us both to know that I agreed to his 'date'. "You do know you wasted your last question, right?"

"I know, and it wasn't a waste." God, his smirk.

"Smooooooooth Mr. Andrews." I return his smirk and earned my favorite laugh.

"You still have two questions left." I haven't realized that he was still holding my hands, and I quickly pull away realizing it was 7:30 and I stayed here longer than usual, completely no work. He definitely had this planned. I laughed at the thought while he helped me pack my bag.

"Pick me up at 8 tomorrow?" Thank God it was friday, and I could sleep in tomorrow before this "date."

"Sure.. One question left." Derek walked me to my car and I didn't know how to say bye. I could tell he didn't know either by the way he rubbed the back of his neck. We simply waved good bye when I looked over the roof of my car to him calling after him.

"Pizza-aaaa?" He smiled back at me realizing I used my last question to request what we eat on our "date."

I drove home with the memorable feeling I have in my stomach. I liked it, but my guard took it as a warning to be careful, wiping the smile I didn't know I had on, completely away.