Holy High Heels Batman

Chapter 1

"HOLY HIGH HEELS BATMAN! I'M A GIRL!" Robin shouted with a look of pure horror.

~~~ five hours earlier ~~~

"So Dick, how was school?" Bruce asked in his polite dinner tone. He had a woman sitting next to him and was obviously putting up this whole act for her. It had been a while since Bruce had any female company because there had been a breakout from Arkham including many major villains like Joker, Scarecrow, Clayface, Two-Face, and a few others. Bruce was still looking for the villains, but decided that he would need to spend at least one night with a woman to keep distance between him and the bat. Last thing he needed were people connecting lines between the Dark Knight of Gotham and the White Knight of Gotham; they were better left separate.

"It was pretty great! I had a math quiz and got one-hundred percent!" Dick understood the necessity of keeping their secret identities secret, so he put on the best 'grateful orphan charity case' face he could and continued to speak. The rest of their 6:00 dinner continued just like that, but the dynamic duo was just as much of a team at the dinner table as they were out on the rooftops of Gotham City.

After the hour long dinner, Bruce gave Dick the signal and Dick quickly went to work. "I'm gonna go finish my homework now, may I be excused?" He said as he looked up innocently at the playboy and the girl.

"Of course you may Dick, if you would like Charlotte, we can head to my room for a movie" Bruce said and winked at the ecstatic woman before him she nodded enthusiastically with a wink before they left and Robin knew exactly what to do. He always completed his homework a week at a time the week before it was due, so he wasn't really about to go work on that. Having the girl for dinner would once again cement Bruce's title as playboy billionaire, and the girl would get her day of fame in the media the next day, but Batman still needed to hunt for the criminals and after four years of working together, they knew how to achieve this. Dick reached the Batcave and sat down in front of the infamous Batcomputer before beginning his hacking spree.

"Um Bruce?" They had only just reached his room when she received a message on her phone.

"Yeah?" He questioned knowing full well what his Robin had done.

"I'm sorry, but I really should go. My neighbor says they hear a noise coming from my apartment. Knowing this city, it could be a pretty wide range of things, but I should go check." She replied guiltily, fully unaware that this was Bruce's goal.

"That's alright, it does sound important. You should go, but bring some leftovers from dinner with you on your way, we couldn't possibly finish all of that on our own." He lead her right back out of the bedroom and soon enough Alfred was driving her home with the leftovers packed away.

Dick waited for Bruce in the Batcave. He was already wearing his Robin uniform and was ready to go on patrol, but he knew his mentor wouldn't be long. At around 7:30, Bruce walked in with all but his cowl on. Dick jumped up from his spot on the cave's only couch and awaited his orders for that night.

"Robin" Batman said, now pulling his cowl down, "The villain search will need to wait. We've received a tip from Commissioner Gordon of small drug deal. From what I can tell they are selling a speed drug that was a failed project of Barry's a few years ago." Dick nodded at this new information as Batman pulled up a file on the drug. "It was meant to increase the Flash's speed, but instead caused him to get really fast but also really angry."

"If this is a drug for speedsters, then what are a bunch of average Joe's supposed to do with it?" Dick asked, honestly confused about why they weren't working on finding the Arkham escapees at the moment.

"When given to non-speedsters, the drug increases the persons speed to a level that's only slightly below Wally's, but it makes their minds even more unstable than it would a speedster." Robin nodded again and hopped into the Batmobile with his mentor.

The two heroes arrived at the area where they knew it would all go down and sat on the roof of a nearby building, completely still, completely silent, and completely obscured by shadows. Just the way Batman liked it. Robin was getting kind of bored in his spot. They had already been there for hours, and the deal wasn't supposed to go down until 10:45. For the millionth time that evening, he glanced down at his glove to see the time. 10:40! Finally!

Batman seemed to notice the deal would begin soon because he grew even more tense, which didn't even seem possible. The two sat and watched as one man came into the alley bellow with a case in hand, and not a moment later, two more guys came in from the opposite side.

"Do you have the serum?" The third man asked in a deep, but slightly squeaky voice.

"It's right here." The first man said in a voice almost as deep as Batman's. He placed the case on an abandoned dumpster and opened it to show a brown-gold liquid in five different injectors.

"The boss say how it's supposed to go down?" The third man said again, causing the second to look around slightly. The first man smiled at that.

"What's wrong you scared of buying an illegal speedster drug?" The way he said speedster made Robin uncomfortable, but Batman either didn't care, or he didn't bother to react.

"W-we're not alone. H-he's here," The panic was evident in the second man's slightly higher voice. "Look, I d-didn't want to be here. Just let m-my family go and h-have mercy"

The first and second men were both about to reply, but Batman gave the signal to jump, and that's what Robin did. The team easily took down the first and third, but left the second man standing for interrogation.

"Who are you, who are they, and where is your family?" Batman pulled no punches on the cowering man who was now backing up trying to escape the deadly Batglare. He continued to inch backward until he bumped right into Robin. He quickly turned around, still putting up the act of a scared and innocent man, forcefully pushed into the situation, but by the time Robin saw the purpose flashing through the man's eyes, he was already being injected with the vile. The last thing he saw before falling unconscious was Batman knocking out the man and falling into the arms of his father.

"-ick? Dick? Are you feeling alright?" Bruce had been trying to wake Dick ever since they arrived back at the Batcave, and the young raven haired teen was only just starting to open those brilliant blue eyes.

"Yeah Bruce, never better. I guess that speed drug didn't work because all I did was pass out." Dick looked up at Bruce's slightly concerned face and felt a little worried. "Bruce, what is it?"

The man was silent for a minute before the clock upstairs chimed the new hour, echoing slightly through the cave. "Dick, I'm gonna show you a mirror, but you have to promise not to freak out."

Now a whole bunch of ideas filled Dick's head ranging from the kid had a pig's nose all the way to every one of the once black hairs was hot pink. Dick nodded once again that night, and Bruce carefully picked up the mirror on the table next to the medical bed. Tons and tons of scenarios could not have possibly prepared Dick for that moment.

"HOLY HIGH HEELS BATMAN! I'M A GIRL!" Robin shouted with a look of pure horror.

And that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed it. This is going to be my summer project. I wasn't going to do anything other than one-shots on Wattpad because I'm always so busy and don't want endless waits on cliffhangers, but I promise to update at least every week, and at most, three times in one day.

Well, thanks for reading and I hope your day is filled with Pure-Wonderment!