Guardian [Completed]

Fifteen (Devina)

Berlin Arrival Protocol:

White man, 50s, Hans, holding a sign reading “Müller”

He will ask you how your flight was.

You will say, “Fine, not as turbulent as last time.”

He will escort you to your X5 and give you the keys.

                                          -Thomas

A warm tingling surged from the pavement to my legs when my feet hit the concrete sidewalk in Berlin. I wanted to run, to tear up this city I owned.

Instead, I followed my contact to the SUV I’d be driving. Josh was still pretty drowsy and I was nearly dragging him along. We crossed a street and entered a parking garage. A few spaces down, a black BMW X5 was waiting for me.

Hans handed me the keys. I thanked him and he was on his way. I unlocked the car and we threw our bags into the backseat, then, we too, were on our way.

I made a mental note to thank Thomas for this idea. As I navigated these streets I knew like the back of my hand, I could feel my batteries recharging.

As we got closer to my apartment, I could feel emotion wash over me. I was going home — to my own apartment — for the first time in three years. Tears budded in my eyes but I held them at bay. My fatigue was magnifying my emotions. 

I parked the car and killed the engine. Josh immediately got out but I stayed there a moment. I took a deep breath.

I got out and grabbed my bag, then led Josh to my doorstep. As I moved to unlock the door, I couldn’t help thinking this was a dream. My hand hovered over the doorknob a moment. When my hand finally came in contact with the metal, I felt the same warm tingling that I felt when I first hit the sidewalk. It was like the city was saying, “You’re here. Welcome home, Devina.”

A tear fell down my cheek as I pushed the door open and crossed the threshold. I paused as Josh shut the door behind me. It was dark, so I flipped on a light in the hallway. I ran my fingers along the wall as I moved into the living room, flipping on another light.

Everything was just as I remembered. The cream-colored couch offset by the patterned Victorian-era-design chairs. The vanity with the large mirror. The cream-colored coffee tables and the floor-to-ceiling windows. A seamless blend of old and new. I had used great care in decorating my place, selecting each piece with thought so each room would have as much personality as I do. 

The room seemed to sigh in relief because I was here.

Josh grabbed my hand as I sniffled. I turned to him, his eyes full of concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Just a little overwhelmed. I can’t believe I’m here. It’s been the longest three years of my life,” I replied tearfully.

“Three years?” Josh asked incredulously. 

I nodded.

“I’ve been contracted in the U.S. the last three years. Haven’t been home. Haven’t seen my brother but once.”

“Why not?”

“He’s been in school and I’ve been busy with my work. I worked pretty much non-stop before I had to go into hiding.”

“Wow.”

Josh didn’t understand. He would find a way for us to be together? He was so naive.

I bit my tongue though.

“I’ll show you around,” I suggested.

Josh nodded.

I showed him the kitchen and took him upstairs to the spare bedroom, my bedroom, and finally the library.

“I’ll have to explore this room on a day when I’m not so tired,” Josh said of the library.

“Sleep is good. We both need to recuperate.”

Josh held out his hand. I placed my hand in his and let him lead me out of the room. I turned out the light as I passed it.

We walked into my bedroom and dropped our bags.

“I forgot to turn the heat on,” I said as I toed off my shoes.

“It’s okay. We can layer blankets,” Josh replied.

“True.”

Josh stripped down to his boxers. My clothes were sticky from traveling and I was too tired and too lazy to find clean clothes, so I just stripped down to my underwear.

We turned the sheets down and climbed in. I pulled the covers back up and over us. Josh wrapped his arms around me and rested his forehead against mine.

“Are you warm enough?” I asked.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“Yeah.”

We looked at each other for a moment.

“Are you okay?” Josh asked again.

I sighed heavily through my nose.

“Sort of,” I answered.

Josh held me tighter.

“Things will be better when we wake up. We’re safe and we’ll be rested.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m happy to be here with you.”

I looked into his brown eyes rimmed with green. They held sincerity and genuine concern.

“I’m happy to be here with you, too,” I said honestly.

Josh smiled at me and briefly kissed me.

“I know you’re tired of hearing it, but I’m sorry,” I said as I put my hand on his cheek. “I shouldn’t have left you. It was stupid and selfish.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged.

“You’ve been stuck with me 24/7. I probably would have run too.”

It didn’t really make me feel any better.

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m fine.”

“A concussion is hardly ‘fine.’”

“Devina, stop. What’s done is done. We’re here and we’re safe and that’s all that matters right now.”

I sighed in defeat.

“Go to sleep. You need the rest as much as I do,” he said.

He leaned in to kiss my palm. I took my hand away and put my arm around him. Neither of us closed our eyes.

“When I first got to the U.S., I didn’t sleep more than four hours a night for the first week,” I said, not quite knowing why I was telling him this.

“Why not?” he asked me.

“Different environment. I was scared.”

“Scared?”

“I didn’t quite know what I was getting into.”

“Weren’t you given the details like with my case?”

“Yes, but each assignment comes with a lot of blanks. It’s my job to fill them in.”

Josh looked at me thoughtfully.

“You seriously need to go to sleep now. I can see how tired you are,” he tried to convince me.

“I’ll fall asleep at some point,” I replied.

“Maybe I should knock you out like I was.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

We both erupted into giggles. 

“Sleep well, Joshua.”

“I will. I’m with you.”