Guardian [Completed]

Fourteen (Josh)

“I’m so sorry,” Devina said for the thousandth time since I had regained consciousness.

“Would you stop? I know you are. I forgive you,” I replied.

We were moving through security at the airport. The constant ache from my concussion was making me irritable, and the hum of the security machines was not improving the situation.

“You shouldn’t—”

“But I do,” I retorted.

Devina looked at me with wide eyes.

“God, Dev, I’m sorry. My head just hurts so bad.”

“I know,” she replied, looking away.

An awkward silence bloomed between us. Devina had her hand up to her mouth, chewing on her middle finger.

I reached over and pulled her hand down, tucking it into mine. She looked at me again.

“I really am sorry,” I said softly.

Her lips twitched as they always did when she didn’t quite have it in her to smile. She looked down at our hands. I loved her bright green eyes but there was something about when she was looking down that made her especially beautiful.

“I think it’s been established that we’re both sorry,” she said dryly.

She let go of my hand and turned to put her things on the conveyer belt. I copied her.

Once we were both through security, Devina grabbed my hand again. We moved through the terminal to find our gate. Along the way, we stopped to buy snacks and a bottle of water.

I was feeling awful. I couldn’t wait to be in the sanctuary of first class. 

For now I would have to settle for a couch in a secluded area of our gate. I sat down and leaned over with my head in my hands.

“When was the last time you took your pain medication?” Devina asked.

“Right when we woke up,” I answered miserably.

There was a moment of silence and I assumed Devina was calculating the hours passed.

“You can take another dose. You would probably sleep a good portion of the flight,” she said.

She rummaged around for my medicine and grabbed the bottle of water she bought.

“How long is the flight?” 

“About nine hours. We change planes in Frankfurt. The flight to Berlin is a little over an hour from there.”

She proffered my medicine. I took the pills and she handed me the water bottle. I quickly washed the pills down and gave the bottle back. I watched as she put the cap back on and put it away.

She looked at me for a moment. What was she thinking? I would never know.

“Come here,” she said, holding her arms out.

I didn’t need to be told twice. She angled her body on the couch so I could have most of her shoulder to lay my head on. I curled up into a ball next to her and she wrapped her arms securely around me. Maybe it wasn’t very manly, but I loved when Devina held me. Or maybe I just missed my mom.

Devina kissed my nose and I sighed. I wanted many more moments like this.

She lightly scratched the back of my neck, which provided a slight tingling sensation that seemed to overpower the ache in my head. I breathed in her vanilla and amber scent and the pain disappeared for just a moment.

“I’m really excited to go to Germany,” I mumbled.

“You are?” Devina asked, surprised.

“Yeah. I’m on vacation, remember?”

We both chuckled.

“I’m really excited too. You have no idea,” Devina said softly.

“You really miss it, don’t you?”

“I do.”

Her voice was barely a whisper. I pulled back a little to look at her. She didn’t have a stitch of makeup on. She never left our hotel without something. Her green eyes that were normally so bright were dulled with fatigue. At the moment they were glassy.

I had never seen her this way. She looked so worn down and it made me sad.

“Are you okay?” I softly asked.

She frowned and shook her head slowly as a tear spilled over the brim of her eye.

“Tell me about it.”

“I can’t,” she whispered.

I pulled her arm away from my waist and slid my hand down to cover hers. I flipped our hands over to kiss her palm.

“Do you remember the first rule you made me promise to abide by?”

“Be completely honest with me at all times.”

I gave her a meaningful look.

“I’m just so confused,” she confessed.

“Why?”

She huffed exasperatedly.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“No, baby, it isn’t. Nothing ever is with you.”

She looked away.

“Devina…”

She didn’t respond.

“Yesterday was hard for both of us. I know you’ve already talked to Thomas, but it happened to us and I think we should talk about it.”

Devina heaved a breath. She looked at me with teary eyes and it stabbed me right in the heart.

“I’m confused,” she repeated. “I haven’t been able to process any of my emotions since I met you.”

I didn’t know how to respond to this information. I was elated because she at least felt something but felt guilty because she didn’t know how to figure it out.

“Josh, you are very special. You’ve come to mean a lot to me in a very short amount of time. I killed a man yesterday for you.”

I swallowed.

“But?”

She choked on a sob.

“But I need this job. It’s my life. Do you not see that?”

I did. Because acting was my life. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I couldn’t act again.

“I love you, Devina,” I said.

She shook her head.

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do. And I’ll figure out a way for us to be together.”

Devina didn’t say anything. I leaned forward and kissed her softly. She still tasted like mangoes.

The boarding announcement for first class came over the speakers.

“That’s us,” Devina whispered.

I reluctantly pulled away from her. We gathered our things and walked over to board.

Once we had everything situated on the plane, I snuggled into Devina again. The medicine was making me really drowsy so it wasn’t long before I began to slip away. I smiled to myself when I realized that when I woke up, I’d be in Germany.