I'm lying to you // Natasha Romanoff x OC Odindottir

Chapter 5 - I Love to Eat Horse Sh*t

Cyrus' pov

"Tony has already made arrangements for you to be there," Pepper reiterates down the phone, "and you've gone AWAL for the past week and we're worried-"

"I know, I know," I slur, bored of her insistence, "but his expos *yawn* bore *burp* the hell out of m- *hiccup* me."

"Are you drunk?" Pepper asks, changing the subject.

"No, no I assure you I am only highly *hiccup* intoxicated," I stubble around my apartment, roughly pulling the curtains closed to block out the blinding sunlight.

"You can't- what was that?" Pepper insists, as she hears a clatter ring through the phone.

"Your mom," I retort, nudging the now broken curtain rail, which I'd ripped off the wall on accident, with my toe.

Hearing Pepper's exasperated sigh, I continue, "You know, I don't think I've ever been so drunk *burp*," Pepper scoffs, obviously not convinced.

"Wooo, like, I've been tipsy but *burp* pardon me, this Midgardian alcohol is... you know what? Forget I *burp* pardon me again, forget I said anything."

Even in the semi-conscious state I'm in, I know to avert my ramblings away from anything that might arouse suspicion.

"Righttttt," she says slowly, "I'll see you on Saturday."

"No, you won't, Pepper," I argue, "I'll be here having a *beep* oh, I know you didn't just hang up on me, Miss Vagina Pepper Potts!"

~~~~~~

"Oh, C," Pepper runs up to me, giving me a hug, "never do that to yourself again," she scolds.

"Agree to come to one of these bore-fests?" I question sarcastically.

"Get so utterly shit-faced," she corrects, "it's not good for you."

"That's like, the whole point," I look around, searching for somewhere to sit, undisturbed for the night.

"Nope, you're staying with me," Pepper notices what I'm looking for.

"Pepper!" I whine, inching away from her.

"God, you're such a child," rolling her eyes, she grabs my hand and pulls me through the crowd.

"Miss Potts?" I hear the familiarly sweet voice of Natasha Romanoff.

"Ah, Natalie," Pepper smiles genuinely at the imposter, "sorry for losing you in the crowd."

"Don't worry, Miss Potts," she reassures her, before turning to me, "and Miss Kane, how... lovely to see you."

"The pleasure's all mine, Miss Rushman," I send her an overly-sweet smile, "It is Rushman, isn't it?"

"And it is Kane - Cyrus Kane - is it not?" She quips.

"Perhaps," I smirk, accepting a drink from a passing waiter.

"Nuh-uh-uh," Pepper snatches the glass out of my hand within a millisecond and places back in the hand of the same waiter, "you're not drinking tonight."