i hate myself for loving you

chapter 1

"listen sage, you need to control yourself at school considering that you are at risk for not graduating this year." the counselor that was assigned to you by the high school principal says to you while typing on a computer. you just sit and stare at the wall behind her as you see her glare appearing at you. "do you understand Ms. sage?" the counselor says to you as she taps her pen on the desk. "yeah whatever" you say with an eye roll as you turn around and pick up your backpack to head out the office door. you make your way to your English lecture class, but make a quick stop at the outside balcony to get in a quick smoke session. you head out the school entrance doors and take a cigarette out of the container from your backpack, and sit on the brick ledge. 

as you take out your lighter and light the cigarette, the cigarette suddenly gets smacked out of your mouth. "what the fuck!" you stand up with rage and look at the figure ahead of you. "smoking is bad for you princess" you hear from a boy in front of you that has brown floppy hair, a tall and muscular figure, with a sharp jawline as well as dashing silver eyes. "aw dang, luckily I don't care" you say with your eyebrows scrunched as you take the cigarette out of the boys hand. "thanks" you say with a sarcastic smile as the boy clenches his fists at your response. you don't care, as you continue to sit at the brick ledge and blow out the smoke from your cigarette. after the boy stops glaring at you from behind, he takes a seat across from you on the brick ledge. you side eye the boy with anger as he has a mysterious grin on his face, which makes his jawline clench more. "you know, I never got your name" the boy says from across from you. "and you never will" you say, trying your hardest not to make eye contact with him.  

the next thing you know, as you attempt to blow out another ball of smoke in peace, the silence breaks as the boy begins to speak in his deep voice. "well I'm Tate, and I promise I will get your name" he says to you with a death stare and a clenched jaw. you turn to him, making eye contact, and blow a ball of smoke in his face as you say "good luck with that Tate" with a sarcastic smile in return. he waves the smoke out of his face as you see his expression turn intimidating. "for now I'll just call you princess, princess" Tate says to you with a smile, trying to contain himself from lashing out. you also try to contain yourself as you smash your cigarette on Tate's leather jacket and turn around with your backpack on one of your shoulders, going through the entrance doors. you make your way to English lecture and get another surprise as you walk through the classroom doors. you hear your teacher screaming at the class, as he stops and turns to you with an angered expression on his face. "you're late sage, yet again" the teacher says to you, "oh really, I didn't notice" you say with a fake and sarcastic smile. "you can take a seat in this classroom, as well as detention for the rest of the week" he says to you as he slams his ruler on the palm of his hand. you roll your eyes and take your seat in the back of the classroom next to your friend, Jessie, who has been friends with you since freshman year. she's cool, but can get annoying when it comes to hanging out with boys.

"you really need to start being a better student sage, I'm worried you're not going to graduate with me" Jessie says to you with a concerned look on her face. "yeah, I've been better today" you say, not making eye contact. "it's only the first class of the day and you've already gotten in trouble with detention" she says with a chuckle. you just keep your attention to the front of the classroom, waiting for the class time to get used up. your next class, math, is even worst with the teacher. she yells at you for not being able to focus because you're doodling on your math worksheet. the next class, social studies, isn't at all better as the teacher yells at you for not reading fast enough. then finally, the last class, which isn't even really a class is detention. you make your way to the detention room, which is the art room, and go through the doors of the classroom. your first instinct is to look around and see who you have to put up with in the classroom. your eyes dart towards a familiar boy. Tate. of course you get the same detention group as him. you notice that he was already looking at you as you both make intense eye contact. it suddenly breaks as your attention moves to the teacher standing right in front of you. the name, Ms. Johnson, one of the teachers that hates you the most for whatever reason.

teachers talk I guess.

"well look who it is, sage" Ms. Johnson says to you as she points to the seat that you're assigned to. and how ironic. its next to Tate. you look down at the floor, and take the walk of shame to your assigned seat. Tate sits on the chair next to you, leaned back and hands behind his head with his legs inched apart. "well, well, well look who it is. the one and only sage" Tate says in a snarky tone. "whatever" you say with a annoyed voice as you take your seat next to him. you put your head down on the desk, trying to drift off to sleep to take up most of the time.

poke

poke

poke

you think its an accident until you feel its about 5 more times on your back.

poke

poke

poke

poke

poke

you've had enough at this point.

you sit up and turn to the side where the pokes have been coming from, you give an annoyed face "oh my god, do you need something?" you say in an annoyed tone once again. "actually I do sage" Tate says as he throws the pen up in the air that he was tapping you with. "I think we have a tension between us" he says with a sly smirk on his face. "yeah, its called hate" you say with an eye roll. the next thing you know you feel a cold and large hand trace down your shoulder to your thigh. it goes from the top of your thigh, all the way down to your inner thigh. 

you tense up and sit up straight in your chair. "no I think its called a sexual tension" Tate whispers into your ear, which sends shivers down your spine. you're stunned as you look straight ahead, trying your hardest to avoid eye contact.