you opened your eyes to an unfamiliar bedroom, and a tall-ish figure hovering over you. you immediately recognized it as neil cicierega, aka your vampire boyfriend??? something??? you didnt know. neither do i, the author writing this at 3 am. but you had a flashback moment i guess and remembered everything. "what am i doing here? i thought i left?" you questioned. "well y/n, you passed out on my kitchen floor after i sucked 90% of your blood out of you. youre weaker than the other humans..." he noted. you glared at him. stop looking at me or else i will make a song about two trucks having sex." you averted your gaze to the objects around you, observing his possessions. "so..." "idk. leave, stay, do whatever the fuck, im gonna go make a youtube video." he said walking out. "holy shit he's kinda hot though-" you thought. NO. YOU CANT FALL IN LOVE WITH A VAMPIRE. THATS STUPID AND CLICHÉ. "fuck off inner voice. ill do whatever the fuck i want to" you say sinking into neil's bed. "no wonder why there were so many bags of blood in his freezer, i thought he was just some weird animal hunter." no, you stupid fuck, you knew damn well he was a vampire. you wanted this to happen and you know that.
a/n: i love breaking the 4th wall; y'all rockin with self projecting onto y/n??
YOU ARE READING
vamp!neil cicierega x fem reader [lowkey abandoned sorry]
Vampirethis is a joke please dont kill me neil 😍 cover photo credit: year of the snake by neil cicierega any and all typos are on purpose and are added for comedic affect holy shit what #1 in the mcdonalds tag as of june 21st 2021
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