after 2 months of being neil' blood farm, you decided to move in with him, because he doesnt have parents or something because he's a vampire. you walked into the house to see neil sitting at the dining table, his back turned towards you, with a dead seagull in his hands???? "uh neil what the fuck-" and then you realized. "HE'S DRINKING THE DEAD SEAGULL'S BLOOD???" you questioned. somehow not noticing you, he gets up and tosses the bird corpse in the trash. "hey!" you confronted him. "I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED ME FOR BLOOD!!1!1!1!" you screeched. suddenly neil turns around pushes you up against the wall. "oh, so now you want me? why? are you jealous over some stupid dead seagull i found dead on the beach?" "maybe- wait arent you like allergic to sun light or something" you asked. "uh idk the author never made that clear. anyway, answer my question." "uh i guess-" he cut you off by kissing you??? you could still taste the seagull blood in his mouth, which is kinda gross and unsanitary. he finally pulled away, fixing his glasses. "well i gotta go make another youtube video." he said walking off to his room. you stood there for a moment, contemplating what just happened. "what the fuck" you said to youreself.
a/n: im tired my brain is making me write this
YOU ARE READING
vamp!neil cicierega x fem reader [lowkey abandoned sorry]
Vampirethis is a joke please dont kill me neil 😍 cover photo credit: year of the snake by neil cicierega any and all typos are on purpose and are added for comedic affect holy shit what #1 in the mcdonalds tag as of june 21st 2021
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