Something Great (Niall Horan)

Chapter 29 - Realization

Chapter 29 - Realization

§•Niall's POV•§

I sit there, watching them discuss touring. Boring. I slowly strum my guitar to Where Do Broken Hearts Go. I go so slow that no one suspects a thing. Honestly, I don't regret what I did. It felt good when I was doing it. Which is probably what Ashton meant by fuelling the voices. Now they beg me to do it again. I refuse to. I know it's not ok. The voices in my head get louder, commanding me to go cut myself again. I refuse. I silently set my guitar down.

You know you want to Niall. The voices sing.

My arms actually start to itch where there will now be scars. I close my eyes, and cover my ears. I can't hear them, I can't hear them. I just have to believe that. My arms itch so bad. I itch my arms, trying not to disturb the gauze. It's not working. I will not cut again. I grit my teeth, trying to stop itching my arms. I'll attract attention. Oh, I already have. The others silently watch me. Ashton understands my problem at the moment.

"Erm, you ok there?" Luke asks. Oh, Calum didn't know I cut myself. Oops, now he does. He's staring at me in disbelief.

"Yeah." I mumble. They itch so bad though. Goddammit. I scratch my arms again, feeling some of the tape peel up. Oh well. Someone grabs my hands, stopping me from scratching my arms.

"But they itch!" I whine.

"They tend to do that, ignore it and it'll go away." Ashton whispers to me. How do you ignore it?!

I grab my guitar, and go back to playing Where Do Broken Hearts Go. They all watch me for a few seconds, and then go back to their discussions. Ashton goes up to the drum set. I wait for Luke to start playing his guitar. He finally does, and I stop playing again. They itch so much! I use the guitar strings to itch my right arm. This was way more fun with Ashley and Zayn.

I roll down my sleeves, and check to see if any of them are watching me. I grab my guitar, and slowly inch to the door. I know they won't let me leave, that's why I'm not asking. I slide out unnoticed. I find my way to the living room, where I see Abby, Michael, Harry, and Tori. I don't know where the others are. I sit down next to Harry.

"Hey Ni." Harry says.

"Hey." I say back.

"Why do you have your guitar?" Tori asks me.

"I was playing it, but then I got bored." I shrug.

"Aren't the others supposed to be watching you?" Michael asks.

"They weren't really paying attention to what I was doing." I say. Michael nods.

"So, you snuck out?" Abby asks me. I nod.

"Wow, they suck at watching you." Tori shakes her head. I hate when they say that someone was watching me. Like, I'm not 4.

"Yeah." Harry agrees with Tori.

"What're you guys doing?" I ask them.

"Watching TV." Abby answers. I look up at the screen, seeing they are watching Pretty Little Liars.

"Really?" I question. Tori and Abby nod. Michael fake gags, and Harry rolls his eyes.

"Where're the others?" I ask.

"Lou and Kacey went out with Ashley and Zayn, Liam and Rosa took off with, you know..." Harry trails off. I nod. I honestly don't care right now. They can say her name, I don't care.

"Michael, you guys have any crisps?" I ask. He nods. He points to the kitchen.

"First cupboard to your, uh," Michael pauses to figure out left or right.