She's Just That Kind of Girl

Fourteen | Violet

I forced the sliding glass door open so hard it made an alarming noise. I gunned for wherever I spotted an opening. I caught a glimpse of one past the pool and followed it into the woods behind the house. The crunch of snapping twigs, dead leaves, and nuts beneath my feet felt liberating in an unexplainable way as to why. I dodged and jumped tree trunks or branches in my way. At one point I tripped over a heavy branch because my vision blurred from the fresh-hot stream of tears. At some points, when the wind whistled in my ears, I could hear calls of my name but I didn't stop, I couldn't, I refused. Not until I got to my safe place, our safe haven. Our family campground in the woods.

            Eventually I reached it, half a mile into the woods I reached it. A good-sized clearing in the woods. There used to be four long logs on each side of a large wood pile in the center for a bonfire, now only one to the right. I clenched the black box as hard as I could in the palm of my hand and threw it at the woodpile.

            All those years of thinking I never got a letter from Papi when my mom and sisters did when he died, but I actually did. Hidden away in a secret location like he was trying to hide it, but why? Nothing made sense. Nothing.

I kicked around anything I could spot, but mostly ended up spreading dirt around. This isn't satisfying enough. I checked my surroundings, I have to hit something. I found some sticks, grabbed them, snapped them in half with my thigh, and threw them as far as I could. Rocks also served their purpose for good aiming practice as I threw them at the trees. Not enough. I frantically searched for a thick branch and scored. I swung it at a tree and it snapped in half. I dropped the other half from my hand. Better. I snatched a thicker one and swung harder, and harder. Even if I was out of breath, I grunted with each powerful hit.

            A hand grabbed my arm. Instinctively, I immediately spun and swung. Whoever it was, I missed and they disappeared. I turned to hit the tree again until muscular arms hugged my waist from behind and lifted me up. I kicked and squirmed and struggled. I ditched the stick and yelled at the top of my lungs, "NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GOOO!" I attempted an elbow blow to the person but things don't work out as great as they do in your head.

            "Shhh, it's okay. Violet, caaalm down. I've got you. Just calm down, Violet. You're safe," they whispered into my ear, almost a hum. Sweetly low and soft. Their breath warm and comforting. It hypnotized me. Melted me into a thousand calm little pieces as they repeated it over and over again. I eventually felt limp. They released me gently and I fell to my knees on the ground. I wept.

            I hunched into a ball on my butt, my face in my hands. By now, I assumed the person beside me rubbing my back to be Tanner. Unless Crissy or Julie really took a liking to me, which I doubted highly. I shivered every other second. I punched the ground on an urge and I lost control again.

            Tanner grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. His eyes gentle and understanding, his brows scrounged together in concern. He moved hair out of my face. "Hey, it's alright. Just take deep, slow breaths."

            I nodded and did so. When I felt relatively calm, I stood up to go sit on one of the log benches. I rested my elbows on my knees and held my head with my hands. I did it for a minute and cooled the Hulk inside. I heard Tanner's steps until they reached me. I peeked to the left through my fingers. Tanner sat there, viewing the scenery, sitting in the same position I was, hands patiently together.

            "You've got a mean swing," he said finally, like he held that one back for a minute.

            I raised my head in utter confusion. "What?"