She's Just That Kind of Girl

Fifteen | Violet

- 6 days until LSU kickoff -

"Do you think we should eat dinner now, or after, or during the fair tonight?" Selena asked, still in her loungewear.

Dallas, her, and I relaxed out on the balcony enjoying the day, my sisters savoring glasses of wine. Was the weather still cold? Yes. But with no wind, wearing sweats all day, and the bright sun out all day, it was actually quite nice. Plus, we enjoyed the view of the sweaty man-boys training on the practice field for a few hours. It was kinda cool witnessing Tanner in football-mode not through a screen and in practice uniform. I looked forward to watching him and the team kickass this Saturday against the LSU Tigers in person.

"Well, are you hungry?" I asked.

"Mmm, not really."

"Then we'll either eat at the fair or after," Dallas said, chiming in.

This weekend felt kind of like old times, but also drastically different. I didn't know how I felt about it because on one hand, the last time we were here we were children leaving with sorrowful hearts with a wonder about the future without this place, without him. It's like we were leaving him behind. But now we are back. We are big girls now, living in a lavish condo, drinking expensive wine, and hanging out like maybe nothing changed. Like I'd never changed. Like who I would be if Papi hadn't died. All the what ifs I asked myself since I was so young. On the other hand, we spent this weekend without the distractions of others and without bickering and fighting. I even enjoyed it. Can I barf on that thought? No. No gut reaction. There's no shame in it. There wasn't ever any shame before, and there won't be now. It's truly a blessing to enjoy our time together like before the everything.

I pondered about telling them though. About the way Papi really went, by my hand. Accidentally, unknowingly, innocently by accessory. I wasn't ready. But I felt it would be one of those things that you would never be ready for. There's no perfect time, place, space, or situation where this conversation could casually be brought up and end on a solid, joyful note. It's just something you have to go for using your best judgement.

"Okay. I'm gonna start getting ready around five. You guys?" Selena asked.

I slipped my phone out from my pocket and glanced at the time, it was close to five. I figured out my usual ritual timing. "I'll start at five-thirty. Maybe five-forty-five"

"Not gonna dress up much?" Dallas asked.

"It's just the fair, you don't really need to. Unless you have dates."

Selena wagged her finger at me as if to say fair point. "Very well, I'm gonna go get ready then." Selena finished her glass, hopped down from her high chair, and skipped to her room.

"So, you and Preston are hitting it off quite nicely."

Dallas's face beamed. "Yeah, we're just clicking, you know?"

I chuckled at the nonsense that was that sentence. "Dallas, you realize it's only been a week since you two have known each other, right?"

Her body language and expression shifted. "So?"

"I'm just saying, it's a little fast. No?"

Dallas scoffed in frustration. "God, Violet. I'm just going with the flow, nothing super serious, yet. Have a romantic bone in your body for una vez."

I crossed my arms. "Hey, I'm plenty romantic. I like being romantic and realistic. Also, going with the flow, or going with the bone."

Dallas's face twisted up in disgust. "Ugh, I don't know why I tell you anything!" she rose from her seat and stomped to her room, leaving some wine behind.