Tommy Sallow is onto better and brighter things. After working a small hometown beat in upstate New York, he's finally in sunny California. As expected, it's the same shit in a different town. Except, you know, now he's near the ocean and miserable...
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A lot has happened since I first got here. For one, I've truly settled into a routine. Work has become easier as I've started figuring out that bag of tricks teachers always seem to refer to. It took a few trial and error days along with some epic fails to start piecing it together. I know I have a lot more flops on the horizon, but at least I feel like I'm making progress. I also somewhat enjoy it. I like teaching kids. It's something I never would have thought about for myself. Is it my newfound passion? No. It's a means to an end, but at least it's something I don't dread.
To be honest, the goal was actually law school. Watching my twin struggle with the law, and more so, watching my parents struggle even more to pay for the ridiculously expensive lawyers made me want to find some way to help them. I know that me going to law school would take way too long to actually help my parents, but maybe I could help someone like them one day.
My undergrad was all about preparing for law school. I took a few courses to prep me and make sure it was something I really wanted. It was. I loved it. I loved the battle of an argument, pulling facts and backing up my claims with irrefutable evidence. I loved challenging others and seeing what they could come up with to stand against my claims. Of course, I loved the win. That checkmate moment. I mean who doesn't like the joy of winning?
Meeting Vince derailed a lot of goals. Becoming a lawyer was one of them. There was something about falling in love with someone who wanted to take care of me. I don't know. I think I fell for the elusive illusion that I could have this perfect story. A man who loved me, who wanted to take care of me. Maybe I was naive, maybe I was trying to fill some type of void in my life, but he laid down the fancy lines, saying all the right things, and I fell right into it. I don't completely regret it. I was truly happy in the beginning.
I can't be upset about falling for Vince. He may have taken a lot from me over the years, but he's also given me the brightest light in my life. I would take every degrading comment, every hand to my body, every damn tear that I've shed over and over knowing that it means I get her. The thing is, falling in love is one of those things that can consume you if you let it. I didn't only let it consume me, but I let it change me. Not in a growth kind of way either.
But I'm slowly starting to find myself again. It's a slow process, but I am making progress. Like right now. I am currently at a coffee shop, waiting to meet up with Trina. I ran into her a while back at the store and promised to catch up. Something I had told many friends back in New York. I promised happy hours, coffee, manicures, just to cancel every single time. I never felt like covering another bruise or making up a story to paint that perfect picture. It was always easier to just bow out. Eventually you stop showing up so many times that your friends stop calling. And when they stop calling, you find yourself completely alone.
I'm not alone anymore. At least not in family and friends.
"Hey!" I hear her shout from across the room, causing a few heads to turn. "So sorry I'm late. Some days it's nearly impossible to get out of the house," she announces as she plops down in front of me.
