Tommy Sallow is onto better and brighter things. After working a small hometown beat in upstate New York, he's finally in sunny California. As expected, it's the same shit in a different town. Except, you know, now he's near the ocean and miserable...
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My life is a jumbled mess right now. Today is proof of that. I was living in a bubble the last few months. I knew Vince was still around, but I think out of sight out of mind played a pivotal role. Now that he's here, it feels like the bubble has popped. That happiness I was beginning to feel seems like a sense of false hope. I really don't know what I'm supposed to be doing anymore, who I'm supposed to be giving my attention to, who I should be defending, protecting, standing next to.
It's all jumbled.
Thankfully, the rest of the party has gone pretty smoothly. Tommy wasn't lying about being invisible. That's not one of the superpowers I ever would have wanted him to have to take on though. And yet, here we are. He's kept his distance, blending with the outskirts of the party.
I can't say today has been a complete walk in the park after the standoff between the two men in my life. This party is not what I expected it to be. I pictured a lot of laughs and maybe even a few hidden moments with my lips pressed up against the one person here who's been giving me all the butterflies. Instead, that very person has kept his distance. The distance I asked him to take.
So, instead of spending my afternoon stealing glances from him, I've spent it watching Mia's smile light up with her dad, reminding me over and over again what I've taken from her. She doesn't understand the complex truth of why we're so far away from him, why she can't see him everyday like she used to. But watching her today, seeing her call for him and beam with joy at showing him all of her presents, of pulling his hand to join her in nearly every activity, is completely breaking me.
She's been happy here, she really has. But is that happiness enough? Is what I'm doing really what's best for her?
I take a deep breath, something I seem to be doing a lot of today. I slowly turn from the yard, making my way into the kitchen to grab the cake. One more event before I can safely say we survived the testosterone filled yard. I reach for a small box, pulling out five sparkly pink candles as I slowly push them into the cake.
His hands snake around my waist before I even know he's in the room. The immediate tense of my body tells me who it is without me even needing to look over my shoulder.
Ice.
That's the feeling that surges through my veins, grabbing hold of my heart, freezing it in place.
Vince leans his head in, brushing his lips across my ear as he whispers, "Did I tell you that you look beautiful today?"
No. You made sure to let me know I needed to change my outfit, actually.
I don't say that though. I don't respond. It's the subtle smell of alcohol on his breath that has my stomach turning while my hands try digging into the counter.
His grip on my waist tightens as he turns me around to face him now. He's close. Closer than he's been in a long time. Closer than I want him to be.
