Tommy Sallow is onto better and brighter things. After working a small hometown beat in upstate New York, he's finally in sunny California. As expected, it's the same shit in a different town. Except, you know, now he's near the ocean and miserable...
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Clarity. A refreshing breath of fresh air on a hot day. The crystal water running down the rocks of a creek. The understanding of exactly what your heart wants and what you need to do to make it come alive.
I know what I need to do, a plan of action if you will. It's not an easy path I'm about to embark on, but I don't know that anyone ever described following your dreams as easy. I think it's the paths that take our strength, our courage, and our drive that are most worth fighting for.
The plan I've laid out involves saying goodbye to a piece of my past. When I first left New York, I thought that was me saying goodbye. I thought walking away from that life was it. But it wasn't. Somehow I managed to leave the window cracked on a possibility I didn't even realize was lingering, not until Vince showed up at my door. Seeing him with Mia again made me question the definition of family, of happiness. I let myself drift down a road of possible outcomes, ones that were never part of the reality I wanted, not anymore. It took me a moment to see that. To see that by leaving that door open, I wasn't allowing my heart to chase what it truly desired, not completely.
So now I wait. I wait for Vince to return, to let him go once and for all. Not only for me, but for him. I think we've both been clinging to that possibility of reconciliation. Seeing this as just a temporary break. One that we will recover from. But I know that we won't. No matter how much he might have changed, or intends to continue to change, he's no longer the man that fills my heart with flutters or takes my breath away with one look. Maybe he was once that person, but that's the thing, sometimes the past is meant to be just that.
A memory, a chapter in my story.
When I hear his car pull up, my heart tightens for a brief moment. It's not in worry of regret or fear that I'm making the wrong choice, it's of knowing I'm about to take the first step in going after what I truly want. I glance back into the house, making sure Mia is still fast asleep on the couch. I turn back to the yard, looking across at the playhouse Tommy and I built. That day was the first day I felt that he truly let me in. That he let me see a side of him that he doesn't so easily show. It's also the first day he kissed me.
A memory, a chapter in my story, a story that feels like it's just now being written.
As his heavy steps come barreling through the sliding glass door, I slowly stand to my feet, facing the familiar glossy eyes surrounded by a deep red frame. I take a few steps beside him, closing the door to keep Mia as shielded as possible. I need to do this now. I can't keep us dangling from this rope we seem to be swinging from.
"You're still wearing the fucking necklace," the alcohol on his breath rains over me.
I should wait. I should do this when he's sober. The problem is, I'm tired of waiting.
"I am," I acknowledge, resting my hand on the blue glass against my chest, trying my best to feel the strength that Tommy gives me.
"You're not wearing your bracelet," he says now, his eyes shifting from my wrist to meet mine.
