The Light to His Shadows

Chapter 10

-Dawn's POV-

Azriel was my mate, this couldn't be happening, I couldn't have a mate. What if he hurt me, what if he broke me.

"Hey, breathe," Azriel told me gently, sitting next to my hip.

"No, no, I can't, I, please." I stuttered, he could be near me, couldn't touch me, I didn't want to feel the tug.

"Ok, all of you out," Feyre voice said above the roaring in my ears.

Azriel disappeared and Feyre replaced him.

"Dawn, please breathe, I'm not going to hurt you," Feyre told me softly.

I pushed myself up.

"I can't have a mate," I whispered.

"I know that you think that because of your parents, but Az isn't like that, mates aren't like that," she said, taking my hand and pulling me against her, letting me rest me head on her shoulder.

"Tell me," I whispered, and she seemed to understand.

"Rhys is my mate, at first I hated him, I'm not going to lie to you, but we were both broken after Amarantha, and we helped each other heal. I went from thinking he was my worst enemy to thinking of him as a close friend. Then, one day we were out training, and we were attacked, he was shot out of the sky. I went mad, I hunted him through the Illyrian mountains until I found him and the people who took him. I killed all of them and tried to get Rhys to safety. They had put poisoned ash arrows through his wings so I had to take them out and hope he would survive long enough for me to find a way to get help. The next day I tracked down a suriel, it told me the cure and that he was my mate. To say I was pissed would be an understatement. Once we got back to the camp, I begged Mor to take me somewhere far away from him and she did, a week later Rhys found me, and he told me everything. We mated and now he is my everything." As she spoke, she ran her fingers through my hair, like she was telling a child a bedtime story.

"Do you think I can have that?" I whispered.

She gave me a smile, "I think you are already most of the way there."

She kept running her fingers though my hair and it very quickly sent me off to sleep once more.

"Dawn!" Leina yelled, shaking me.

"Hey baby, have you been good for the High Lord and Lady?" I said, sitting up and pulling her tightly against me.

"Yes, Elain lets me help in her garden." She told me, giving me a slight smile.

"What is wrong baby girl?" I asked, noticing the tears building up in her eyes.

"Th- the day y- you were taken, a- Azriel went to o- our house and, and f- found mother d- d- dead," she told me, sobbing into my chest.

Silence pressed in, the shocked kind of silence. Mother was gone, I would never get to see her again, apologise for yelling, help her overcome loosing father. Gone.

I sat on the bed curled up with Leina, sobbing, for a while before there was a soft knock on the door.

"She told you?" Morrigan asked quietly as she walked in, I just nodded.

"Mor told me, she let me sleep with her that night," Leina told me, smiling at the kind blonde.

"And she helped me eat a whole chocolate cake the day after," Mor added, sitting on the bed next to us.

"Thank you," I whispered, Mor took my hand.

"It was the least I could do, I know nothing can compare to your mother, and that losing her will hurt for a while but I'm here if you need me, both of you." She told me, squeezing my fingers.

I smiled at her, a tight smile that I hoped conveyed my thanks despite the tears.

"And for what it is worth, Az thinks the world of you, weather you want to make something of the bond or not he will be there for you." She told me, running her thumb over the back of my hand.

"Thank you," I breathed, and she smiled.

"Come on Leina, let's leave you sister be, I'm sure there is some chocolate somewhere with your name on it," Mor said, lifting my sister off me and setting her on the floor.

Leina ran out of the room and Mor shot me a smile over her shoulder before following.

I stood and walked to the bathing room. I stared at myself in the mirror, maybe I should give the mating thing a go, Feyre and Mor were right, Az isn't my father.

I frowned as I took in the scar peeking over my shoulder, would he really want someone as broken as me though, I shy away from most physical contact, I couldn't give him what he wanted.

"Pull yourself together Dawn," I hissed at the mirror.

I curled my hands into fists and unfurled my wings, admiring how they shone gold in the light.

I wasn't in Illyria anymore, my wings weren't going to be taken from me, I loved them, and I should have them out.

I tucked them neatly behind me before walking down the stairs.

Everyone stopped what they were doing when I walked into the sitting room. They were staring at not only me, but the wings peeking over my shoulders.

"I- I can get rid of them if you what," I whispered.

"Don't be silly, they are beautiful, we were just about to play a game of charades, want to join?" The High Lord said, earning a glare from Azriel.

I silently nodded and walked over to the sofa Azriel was sat on alone, sitting next to him.

He seemed shocked at my decision, but Feyre and Mor gave me encouraging and reassuring smiles.

It turns out that the books and plays they all chose I didn't know so I completely failed at the game, but it was super fun none the less.

Mor was the best, winning nearly every round despite having a bottle of wine to herself.

"Dawn, tomorrow we need to talk about what happened the other day, any information you have, or anything you feel comfortable sharing is helpful, but we don't want you to feel like we are interrogating you, hence the heads up." Feyre told me as the night ended.

"I want to help you, those males, I don't know how to describe what they can do but no one should have to feel what I did, so I will tell you everything." I told her and she gave me a smile.

"Get some rest Dawn, I have a feeling Leina will be waiting for you upstairs." She said with a smile.

I thanked them all for a lovely evening before heading upstairs, sure enough Leina was waiting on the bed, we fell asleep curled up together.