Loss - Lucas Sinclair

The Spy (Part 2)

"Let's try another emotion," Ivory said after Gwen finally got Nikki to calm down. "You said you had sister right? Someone like us?"

"Yes," Nikki responded in a hoarse whisper.

"Eleven, correct?"

"El," Nikki corrected, "she liked to be called El."

"Okay," Ivory nodded, "and from what I remember, she's no longer with us, correct?"

"Yes," Nikki said, feeling the prick of guilt for not protecting El more.

"Where you there when she died?"

"Yes."

"Okay," Ivory thought for a second, "think about how you felt when you saw your sister, El, dead."

Nikki looked at the ground, finding a lump next to her that hadn't been there before. She didn't have to look too closely to realize that the lump was a person. And she only had to look at the side of the person's face to realize it was El, looking exactly like the dead body Nikki had left behind in the upside down a year ago.

"I bet you felt alone," Ivory continued.

"Yes," Nikki said, remembering her walk down the school hallway. It had to only been a few minutes, but for Nikki it felt like forever. It was when she realized she was alone for the first time and she had to figure out how to live when most of the people who knew about her wanted her dead.

"Sad."

"Yes," Nikki said still looking at her sister. She was pale and looked tired even though she was infinitely sleeping. "I'm sorry." She whispered to her sister.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I didn't protect her after all of those times she protected me."

"Could you protect her?"

"Maybe," Nikki said truthfully, remembering all of the different scenarios of what could have happened she'd thought of. "But I didn't. She wanted to help and I didn't stop her."

Before she could say anything more, a blue orb burst from her hand hitting the image of El, making it shimmer away.

Nikki cried into her hands as she sat down on the forest floor. The same thought swirled her head just like they had done that first alone in the woods.

She killed her sister. She was a killer. She didn't want to be, but she was made to kill. How could she ever think she could be anything else?

"Nikki," Gwen's soothing voice stopped her thoughts. She felt Gwen wrap her arms around her and hug her tightly. She wanted to push her away, thinking she didn't deserve it. As if sensing her thoughts, Gwen held onto her tighter. "I think we're done here." She said looking up at Ivory.

"Me too," Ivory agreed, "because I've seen all that I needed to see."

***

After explaining to Max what was going on, Lucas managed to get her to agree to go to the junkyard with him. There Dart would show up and Max would see the Demogorgon. When she would realize that Lucas was in fact telling the truth, she would help them out with killing him and then everything would go back to as normal as possible. And, maybe, Max would be curious about their previous battles and he would have an excuse to really talk through everything he had been through and what he felt.

At least, that's what he hoped would happen.

"I said medium-well!" Lucas yelled after seeing Steve Harrington (yes, the Steve. He still couldn't believe it) and Dustin dumping raw meat on the ground.