A Court of Water and Shadow

22

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Azriel
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I think Rhys and Feyre find joy in torturing me. I'm yet again stuck with Nyx as the two of them visit the Day Court. Of course Rhys claims that Cassian would surely corrupt the child and Amren would be careless with him, but why me?

Why not Nesta or Elain?

Why not Mor or the Valkyries?

No, it had to be me, the most corrupt of us all. Maybe it was their way of cheering me up. The little guy certainly was good at it.

I watched as he crawled across the floor, babbling nonsense and putting his toys in his mouth. Drool leaked from the sides and I grimaced as I picked him up and wiped the drool away with the hem of my shirt.

As soon as I did, the little bastard stuck his chubby hand out and hit my face. I scowled at him, which only made him erupt in high-pitched laughter. With a sigh, I walked into the kitchen with Nyx and took out a bottle. Eager to shut the child up and put him to bed, I slipped the bottle in his mouth and held it up for him as he drank.

When his eyes started to flutter closed, I took the bottle from him and carried him up to his room. Setting him gently in his crib, I pulled his favorite stuffed animal—a bat of course—closer to him and watched as more drool poured from his mouth.

I made a face, then sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room to watch him. Just as I started to get comfortable, the door to the River House opened and closed—waking up Nyx.

I cursed under my breath and walked over to comfort him, but I froze at what I saw. The child was manipulating his own drool around in the air. I grimaced at the sight, then a small part of me broke when he formed a bat out of the drool and clumsily flew it above him.

The door to the room opened then, startling Nyx enough to drop the drool. A very drunk Feyre and Rhys came in, cooing at thier child and greeting me with warm smiles. I gave them a tight smile in return, then left the house before my feelings crashed into me.

I made it all the way out the front door when I had to brace my hand against the wall of the house gasping for breath.

My shadows swarmed me as they chanted her name over and over again. They wanted to look for her, for the female that made me feel something again.

But I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't send them to search for a dead female. I just couldn't.

Doing the only thing I could think of to satisfy my need for her, I spread my wings and took off towards Adriata.

Her house was the same as the last time I saw it. We had all made sure that nobody came to live in it. Once Rhys was back, he put wards up to make it invisible to the public.

I stood there with clenched fists as the sea breeze swept through my hair. Everything here reminded me of her. The ocean in the distance reminded me of her way with water and how happy it made her to show off her skills. The market behind me reminded me of how we walked through those streets and into her favorite restaurants and shops. The damn school stood tall off in the distance, reminding me of her eagerness to spread her knowledge to others. She was filled with so much joy here, and I loved that about her.

My feet moved towards her house and through the front door. Everything was still in its place. Plates that had been cleaned laid in a drying rack next to the sink. Mail was tossed onto the table haphazardly with fine layer of dust over it. I carefully dragged my hand over her tan purse that rested on a hook by the door, then shoved all of my feelings aside as I walked up the stairs to her room.