A Court of Water and Shadow

12

—
TW: Thoughts of death.
Do not read the words in bold if you wish to skip.
—

—
Azriel
—

Another thing I want to erase from her vocabulary, the word fine.

She wants to fuck other people. Fine.

She wants to risk her life in Illyria. Fine.

She wants to be friends. Fine.

Everything's just perfectly fine. Except it's not, because I can't seem to get her beautiful laughter out of my head.

My shadows don't feel like mine anymore. Not in a bad way though. In a way that whenever I use them or listen to them, I think of her. The way she softens around them or smiles at them. The way she giggles when Frank plants small kisses on her arms and shoulders or the way he flows through her hair. The way she looks at them and seems to gather information as I do from them in order to understand me. It all leaves me breathless.

This is more than just silly little crush, and I hate myself for doing this yet again.

First it was Mor and her bright smiles and blonde hair. I admired her strength despite what her father and Eris did to her. I admired the way she could lift everyone's spirits until we were all enjoying our lives. It was a talent that I fell in love with, but my shadows changed that love into admiration. She's keeping her own secret from us, one that explains why she doesn't want me. It still hurt to be in love with someone for five hundred years without doing anything about it, but I suppose that was my fault too.

But Evelyn. She's a breath of fresh air after years and years of drowning. She's the light at the end of a long and dark tunnel. She's the stars, the moon, and the sun combined.

But we're friends. So I'll just have to live with that.

—
Evelyn
—

After a week of scouring Illyria in search of clipped females, Cassian and I were only able to get a handful of names from various camps. Progress is progress I suppose, but it saddens me that the fear is ingrained so deep within these females.

We've decided to wait until we have a decent amount of names to punish them. Then, Cassian and Rhys will deliver the punishments of their actions.

I've also spread the word to the females of my title, so that they have someone to go to if they're in danger. Verida mentioned that her and Emerie are communicating with more females and trying to convince them that they'll be safe if they give us a name. I'm immensely proud of the two females and honored to help them find their peace, one way or another.

Rhys had given me the day off, something about preparations for a ball with the other High Lords. I'm assuming he didn't want something bad to happen to us in Illyria when he was gone.

We've been sneaky about it so far, but with my luck something bad would happen while he was gone. Cassian says once the punishments are dealt with and things settle in Illyria, I'll be traveling there on my own—with Mor's winnowing of course. I can't wait until then. I can't wait for the days where I can speak with the females and listen to their concerns in order to bring them true freedom. It will take a while, but this job is my life now, and I'm so honored to do it.