A Court of Water and Shadow

28

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TW: Memories of rape.
If you would like to skip, don't read the bold words.
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A week here in Velaris went by slower than I could've ever imagined. I was slowly starting to build my routine. Wake up, get ready for the day, Valkyrie sight-seeing, helping Gwyn in the library, then dinner with the inner circle. At the end of the day, I'd slide into bed and prepare for the nightmares. They never get better, but if I'm going to live for the people I've killed, then I might as well see them in my sleep.

I'm a little surprised that Zagra hasn't tried to get me back yet. He was always so adamant about his claim over me that I thought he would always have me by his side. Maybe he still thinks I'm in Hybern. It would actually make me happy to see him tear apart Hybern to look for me. What a fool that would make him...

I turned my head towards Nyx at the sound of his babbling. Rhys was bouncing him in his lap and making all sorts of ridiculous faces at the child while Cassian stood behind Rhys and gave him bunny ears with his fingers. Nyx giggled at that, and Rhys smiled in accomplishment thinking he was the reason for the child's laughter. I thinned my lips to hold in my own laughter, but Azriel snorted and started chuckling, causing me to release my laugh. When I could catch my breath, I noticed Rhys looking at me odd and a few other people smiling at me. I cleared my throat and relaxed in my seat with a shrug. "You looked ridiculous."

Rhys gave me an annoyed look. "He's been crying all night."

I locked eyes with Cassian as he rounded the couch and plopped down next to me, then shook my head with a small smile. When I looked back over to Nyx, I noticed him do a specific hand movement, then my eyes widened as I realized what was about to happen. The child gathered a ball of water out of thin air, then launched it across the room towards Nesta and Elain. Without thinking, I quickly shot my hand out and stopped the water before it made contact, then let it fizzle back into the air.

When I looked back to Rhys in shock, I noticed his hand out too, probably to shield the females from getting wet. He dropped his hand with a look matching mine. "Did he just—"

"He took the water from the air without even trying." I spoke breathlessly as a sick feeling formed in my gut. My look of shock quickly formed to dread in that moment. Frank seemed to notice and curl around my wrist tighter. "Rhys if he can do that..."

I didn't have to finish my sentence, by the look on Rhys's face, he already knew what I was thinking.

If Nyx can manipulate water from air like that, then taking it from a body will be easy for him. Who's to say he won't accidentally do it with his underdeveloped brain?

Rhys stood and excused himself, but I followed after him as he hurried to the balcony of the house. "Rhys what are you going to do?"

"I'm taking him away from everyone at the moment." He stated flatly.

I lowered my eyebrows at him. "I can see that, I mean what are you going to do if he actually kills someone?"

Rhys stops walking and turns to me while Nyx finds a button on his shirt very interesting. "I don't know Eve. Maybe I can enter his mind and put my thoughts in there to stop him?" He thinks for a moment, then looks over to me. "Could you show him how to use his water manipulation? Maybe if you taught him how to control it then he wouldn't—"

"No." I state quickly as fear prickles through me.

"No?" Rhys repeats with a confused look. "Eve I could really use your help."

"I said no Rhys." With that, I turned and walked away.

I didn't head towards the sitting room or to my own bedroom. Instead, I climbed the stairs to the roof as my whole body started to shake. I had used my powers for no reason, and everything inside of me told me that was wrong. My bones screamed at the memory of what I used to do with my water manipulation. How the same hand movements directed towards a person could kill them in the blink of an eye. I had used my water manipulation again for no reason when I swore I would never do that again. I swore to every soul that I killed that my hands would only be used for good. That no water shall be moved with them, even if my body aches or I go mad from the buildup of power. I'd rather go mad than go back on my word...but I suppose that's exactly what I did today.

As I entered the roof, the smell of old books and vanilla mixed with sweat reached me on a calming wave. My favorite librarian was already up here swinging a dagger at an attack dummy. She stops when my footsteps sound over the smooth stone, then turns to look at me.

"Can't sleep?" Gwyn asks as she wipes her brow.

I shake my head no and sit on a mat facing her. Sure, maybe I wasn't trying to sleep before coming here, but I was avoiding it by hanging out with everyone.

With a sigh, she places her dagger in the weapons rack, then sits next to me. "Neither can I. I get horrible nightmares." She stares wide-eyed at the mountains in the distance.

I sniffle and wipe a tear away as I face the horizon with her. "Me too."

She looks at me with admiration for a moment, then turns back to the mountains. "Secret for a secret? I'll tell you my deepest and darkest memories if you tell me yours."

I look at her for a moment, then because I'm feeling vulnerable, I nod.

Gwyn sighs and lays down on the mat to face the midnight sky. I copy her motions, and then she speaks. "A few years ago, I was a Priestess in Sangravah alongside my twin sister Catrin. There was an attack one night. A bunch of Hybern soldiers had infiltrated the temple and killed the other Priestesses." Gwyn paused for a moment to breathe, and I cautiously took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. She squeezed back, then continued. "I took the children and ran to the catacombs to hide them. I got all of them through the trap door in the kitchen before I heard their footsteps. So, in order to save the children I put a rug over the door and a table there for good measure." She squeezed her eyes tight for a moment, then continued. "The soldiers found me and demanded to know where the children were. When I didn't answer, the General took out Catrin and two other Priestesses and asked me again. I still kept silent, so he beheaded the three of them right there."

My mouth dropped open as I rolled my head to the side to look at my friend. She had seen her sister die and she was strong enough to tell me. I was so proud of her strength, of how she goes about her days with a smile on her face and a good attitude despite the memories that surely haunt her.

"But the General wasn't done. He still questioned me and when I refused again, he raped me on that table." Gwyn's hand tightened around mine as it shook. "I get nightmares of that horrible day sometimes. So I come here to remind myself that nothing can break me ever again. That I am stronger than I used to be." She takes a breath, then her voice becomes quiet. "And I come here for Catrin, to make myself stronger for her."

I quickly blink away tears as Gwyn's head rolls to look at me. I knew my apology would do nothing to quell the hurt and anger inside of her, so instead I shared my secrets, and I didn't hold back. I told her about my parents and what happened Under the Mountain. I told her how I was taken to Hybern and kept in the cell. I told her how that guard raped me and kept doing it until Zagra started taking me back after my days of killing. I told her about that too—about the killing. I told her how I let the good part of me hide in the shadows until Azriel found me, and I told her about the bargain that Zagra had forced on me. I told her everything that made me feel like a waste of life, and my friend laid there and listened to it all with a level of understanding that nobody else could have. She squeezed my hand when it became difficult to speak and wiped her own tears away when I told her the worst parts.

When I was done, Gwyn sat up and crossed her legs. I copied her motion, then wiped the rest of my tears away. "Thank you." She spoke before placing her hands in her lap.

"For what?" I asked as I put my hands behind me on the ground and leaned my weight back.

"For telling me. I know how hard it is to share that part of you with someone, so thank you for trusting me." She said before angling her head up to look at the night sky.

I blinked a few times, then felt a calm wave wash over me. "Thank you." When she looked back at me, I smiled. "For the same thing."

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A/N

Hey everyone! Lol I was listening to my sad playlist and I think Touch by Sleeping At Last is really Eve's song for all of part 2.

Hope you all had a great weekend :)

-Em