-What I want-

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SHIZUNLOVEME, "What I Want" {Complete}


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I want to hurt myself.

I want to kill myself.

I want attention.

I want affection. 

I want to be able to act my age.

I wish my mother wasn't a child.

I wish I could feel something other than pain.

I want to kill others.

I want to hurt the people closest to me.

I picture myself choking my parents to death.

I only cried about my dog not being able to see me again.

I'd want to become big. To have people love me just to take it all away in the end.

I laugh and smile when I think these bad thoughts.

I wish people weren't scared of me - but I want to see fear in their eyes.

I want to make people fear me.

I want to be called a psychopath.

But why is it that when I cry,  I scream: "I don't want to feel these things! Make it stop! Please... Make it stop......." 

There are two people inside of me.

I don't know which one is good or bad.

I will never have a family.

I want to manipulate others to get what I want.

But why do I cry and say, "I  keep telling myself, 'this is what I want,' but I don't want any of this! I don't want to feel like this! I don't want to hurt..."

I've long lost myself.

I don't know who I am anymore. 

--end "what I want"


-SHIZUNLOVEME

[End of "Never The Same" by -SHIZUNLOVEME] 


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