Unforgettable Memories | Xiao x Reader

Chapter Twelve

"The ones who notice the storm in your eyes, the silence in your voice,
and the heaviness in your heart
are the ones that you need to let in."

~~~~~~

A few days had past since your encounter with the abyss mages. Since that day, you, Aether, Xiao and Paimon have been spending the days in Mondstat doing commissions here and there. Despite the activity going on, your mind was still foggy about your thoughts on the past that Xiao had told you.

It was hard, without a doubt taking all of that in was a feat like eating a whole entire cake with one bite. It was hard to chew and much harder to swallow. A past like that was unimaginable.

Not only did you hear about your so-called past, you were also confessed to. Xiao had admitted his love for you and that left your heart in shambles.

In all honestly, you didn't really understand your feelings. It was like everything was being dumped on you all in one go, though that fact might just be the truth of the situation. You didn't know how to reply since everything was still so unsolved. All you could do was think about it.

However, thankfully, Xiao didn't press you for a reply. He was true to his word and gave you time. He let you think all about what he had told you and didn't force you into saying anything about it.

"Y/N!" A girl with brunette colored brought you back to reality.

Looking around, you realized that you were sitting at a table with Amber, a friend that you had gotten close to over your stay in Mondstat.

"What's wrong y/n?" Amber asked, her tone clouded with worry. "You've been zoning out a lot."

"I'm sorry," you laughed. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! Now what do you suggest we do next?"

Remembering the recent activity with Amber, you recalled that you had just eaten lunch. Trying to change the subject from your zoning out moment, you decided to ask about what else the two of you could do.

"Sorry," Amber sheepishly said. "I have to go do some stuff for Jean. It completely slipped my mind."

"Ok," you smiled before waving goodbye towards Amber who was running towards the Headquarters of the Knights of Favonious. "Bye!"

Now you were left alone sitting by the table and back to your thoughts. For the past days, you had tried to forget about what happened. Even though you knew it was rude to try to completely ignore everything that Xiao had said, you didn't want to think about it. It was hard on your heart and your mind.

Ever since meeting Xiao, feelings you never knew you had had started blooming in your heart. You didn't want to be separated from the adeptus and you wanted to spend all the time you had with him.

However, you didn't know if it was currently the feelings of the present you or the past you. Xiao had said that you weren't able to be reborn since your soul had been destroyed yet here you were. If that was the case, just what in the world were you even?

The feelings that continued to grow in you were something that you continued to deny since you didn't know if it was the real you or the past you. Was the past you the real you? Or are the past you and the real you two different entities within the same body? Xiao had said that you had the same personality of the person that he remembered in the past but, other people could have a similar personality.

It was all too confusing. You didn't want to think but all of this.

If anything, having all of these weird feelings and thoughts hurt you brain.

Worst of all, you didn't even know or understand the feelings that you were having. You were definitely clueless about all of this.

"I don't understand any of this," you sighed dejectedly.

"Understand what?" You heard a familiar rough voice say.

In front of you sat the green and black haired boy that you were thinking about, Xiao.

"N-nothing," you stuttered, surprised by his sudden appearance. "I thought you were on a commission with Aether?"

Earlier, you all had asked Katheryne for a commission to complete for the day however, Amber had dragged you along with her for a day out so that had left Xiao and Aether to do the commission all of their own.

"We finished it."

"That was fast," you gave a small laugh.

"So what did you mean by not understanding," Xiao brought back what you had said to yourself earlier.

"Its nothing," you rubbed your hand under the table. "Just thinking to myself."

"You were thinking about what I told you before weren't you," Xiao looked straight at you.

Sighing, you looked at the table, "Yeah."

"What's wrong?" Xiao questioned you, his usual rough voice turning soft with concern. "I've noticed that its been eating at you and I'm worried."

"I just don't know," you admitted, the words flowing out of your mouth. "How do you know that the person from you past and me are the same? How is it possible that I'm here if what your saying is true? How do I reply to your feelings? What am I supposed to do with this knowledge? Who am I?"

"You're y/n," Xiao's eyes softened when he looked at you. "And for your other questions, I don't know the answer either. All I can tell you is to just look at the present and towards the future. Stop focusing on the past. Don't let it define what you do. Before I saw you with Aether, I always lived in the past. It was all thinking about my regrets. I'm lucky to have another chance to see you again. I don't want to make the same mistakes anymore so now I'm going to live in the present and stop hesitating."

"But how do you know that the past person you loved and the present me are the same person," you yelled, your frustration getting the best of you.

"I don't," Xiao answered honestly. "But these feelings, they are the same feelings that I had all those years ago. Whether the y/n from the past and the present are different or the same, the one that I love right now is you. I made a mistake to ignore my feelings for y/n all those years ago and I never spent a day without regretting it. Because of that, I lost her. Now, I'm not going to make the same mistake. I'm going to accept my feelings. Whether you feel the same way or not is up to you. I'm simply happy to be able to see you once more."