Stars Aligned

Insert 59

Betty's pov

What did this mean now? Was I going to live with a broken heart now that I realised my feelings for him. Just when I decided to open my heart to him, he lets go of it and it shatters, again. For how long was I going to stand being hurt in my life. But no matter how much I tried to despise him, I couldn't bring myself to. I yearned for his touch, I wanted him next to me when I woke up. If I were to see him now, Lord knows I would jump that man.

As crazy as it sounded, I missed his unusual personality. His lack of sociality, and how he never understood my jokes. Against all odds, I took my phone from the nightstand and scrolled down my contacts. I knew possibilities of him picking up were low but I just needed to hear his voice just once. Whatever he said to me that day, I don't buy it and I believe he was compelled to. Because the Leo I knew wouldn't treat me like I was just a piece of trash. I curse myself for not realizing it sooner.

The Leo I know was socially awkward, a straight talker and very much rude but to me he was gentle from the start. He was sweet and warm towards me. The big man acted like a baby around me, so how could I believe that the night we shared together meant nothing to him. My fingers hovered over the contacts, contemplating calling him. I wanted to know why he did what he did, and maybe he would say he was forced to and he was regretting it. I brought the phone to my ear as it rang.

My heart picked up its pace as the third ring passed and the phone wasn't answered. I was about to give up when the call stopped ringing. He answered but he didn't say anything. I could hear him breathe on the line, and just like that, the waterworks slid down my face. I tried to contain the sobs that wanted to come out from my mouth with my hand.
Me: Leo.
I said softly, my voice cracking at the end. I heard him breathe out a heavy sigh.

Me: I don't want you to say anything, just listen to me.
I wiped the tears that continued to slide down my reddened face. I cleared my clogged throat and spoke again because I knew he was listening to me.
Me: I love you. Yeah, I know I sound stupid for saying that after you clearly told me I meant nothing to you but I do. I'm sorry it took me long to realize that I do but I have fallen in love with you, all of you. I know you love me too, and I'll wait okay. I don't care how long it takes but I'll wait for you because my heart refuses to believe that you don't feel the same.

I choked out a sob and blinked away the tears that blinded my vision before continuing with my rant.
Me: I'll hang up now okay. Come back to me.
I was going to hang up when I heard his deep accented voice. How I missed to hear him bark orders with that voice of his.
Leo: Don't fall in love with anyone else. Wait for me for as long as it takes. Think about me only, for the rest of your life Elizabeth. This is the most selfish decision I've ever made in my life but I don't care because I do love you.

He hung up on me. Leaving me with a throbbing heart. The phone slipped down, the grip I once had on it long loosened. I balled my eyes out and cried for him. That was what I was going to do, cry myself to sleep for him. I was going to miss him everyday till he comes back. I was going to yearn for him and think only about him for the rest of my life. For how long it takes, I was going to miss him and only him because I loved him too.

***

The next day, was just like yesterday with me feeling numb and in pain. I looked like a mess that I was. My eyes were red and had bags under them, while my nose and ears were as red as they could get. I got in the bathroom and did my business and took a long shower, just thinking about my Leo. I wondered whether he was safe where he was. Did he eat, I know he loved my food. After I finished with my shower, I got dressed and stayed in my room for a while before going to eat something.

I knew Snakes was at work, my beautiful niece was at school and I was left alone with my best friend. Although I needed to be alone with my thoughts and my hollow heart, I was grateful for her presence. It provided a sense of little warmth. It didn't make me feel like I was alone. As I neared the lounge, with each small step I took I heard voices. I knew immediately that voice belonged to Mbali, that's just how loud she was. She saw me first and gave me that pitiful look. I sighed and walked into the lounge, lunging myself on the couch.

Mbali: I don't even know what to say.
My situation was such that it made the one person who never kept her mouth shut speechless. How saddening. I gave her a closed lipped smile to show her that I understood where she was coming from.
Lisa: Okay, let's talk about your wedding day and not talk about stressing stuff.
Oh how grateful I was of her. She knew that I was not in the mood to talk about my depressing life and needed a distraction.

I sat there for hours while they discussed Mbali's wedding day. I didn't hear much as I would zone out every now and then. Leo occupied my mind. I was just a stress bomb. The girls didn't bother me much with things. I just knew that it was a beach wedding and we were flying back to KZN for it. Just thinking about going back to that place, made me feel worse than I did now. I just hoped I wasn't going to bump into anyone of my family, worse Brandon.

After Mbali and Sino left and I was left alone with Lisa until Ronnie came back from school. As always her hyper energy radiated in the house. She was just a adorable.
Ronnie: Aunty Betty.
She called out for me, as she drew on her drawing book. One thing about Ronnie is that she loved to draw and color things. It was safe to say we had a little artist in our hands. I hummed in response.
Ronnie: I met this boy at school.
She smiled adorably at me. Oh boy, she was about to talk about boys already.

Me: You did?
Ronnie: Yeah, he was cute and he kissed my cheek.
She continued to rant about her knew friend. At times I wondered how old this child was. I mean for her age, she sure knew and did a lot. I was so sure that her father wasn't going to like hearing this.
Me: What's his name sweetie?
She sat up straight, putting her things down, giving me her full attention. She looked so cute when she started talking. Makes me want a baby. I wondered if Leo ever wanted to have children.

At the thought of having mini Leos running in our house a smile crept on face. But soon the smile turned into a sad one as I realized that the possibility of having kids with him were very slim. I was brought out of my train of thoughts by Ronnie's rant about her little friend at school.
Ronnie: -So Lukho is five years old and going to elementary school next year.
She looked saddened by that. Her friend was going to leave her. I knew all too well how that felt.
Me: Come here baby.