Not Tommy Anymore

Chapter 17 - Third Time Is A Charm, Ain't It Tubbo?

Trigger Warnings -

Tommy found himself sitting on a rock, tears still staining his cheeks while Techno, The Blood God, was kneeled down in front of him though he couldn't read the expression on Techno's face he would assume that it was one of annoyance and frustration. "So-sor-ry.." He croaked, realizing that his throat had decided to fail him.

Technoblade did the something Tommy would never expect next; he hugged him. "It's not your fault, Theseus." He kept him in the hug for a moment, just letting the boy calm down further in his arms. "Alright." He stood up quickly, before turning around. "Come on... let's go see Ghostbur."

Tommy stood up slowly before following the pink splotch in his vision to the stairs. Techno helped his brother down the stairs before they continued to the community house. Tommy watch Techno disappear from his vision, going to follow him he found himself walking face first into a wall. Techno laughed at him before helping him towards L'manburg.

They walked to L'manburg and ran into someone Techno hoped not to see again.

"Tommy?" Tubbo's voice filled the blonde's ears and he looked towards the new splotch of color. Tubbo stared back, but he found it odd that Tommy was only staring in his general direction.

"Tubbo..." Tommy muttered quietly. He closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing under control as he identified his feelings. Happiness, grief, distrustful, and anger. He wondered what gave him the right to feel angry at his former best friend, but no answer would come to him.

"Tommy!" Tubbo cheered, approaching Tommy at an average jog pace. "How have you been big man?" He pulled the blonde into a hug, ignoring Techno's presence in a whole.

Tommy pulled away from the hug quickly. "T-tubbo...." He muttered. Trauma stopped him from remembering all the details, and when he was with Dream all he did was think about the times Dream would leave him alone for a few hours- or however long? But after being at Techno's and Phil's so long he did start to remember things he wished he hadn't, after all his life wasn't so happy as he once was.

Tubbo looked at him confused, raising an eye brow and leaning his head over slightly, as if trying to get a better read on Tommy, though in all honesty, he might have been able to remember the old Tommy's moving patterns and actions, but Tommy was now unreadable to him, he wouldn't understand what Tommy would mean if he had gestured to something like he once was able to. "You okay, Toms?"

The nickname. The name was what triggered Tommy. He hated that name so much, the only voices it felt tolerable coming from was Phil's and Techno's but that was just tolerable... That name was tainted with too many things, and usually he would ignore it but he just felt something snap in him. "Don't call me that Tubbo." Tommy muttered, his voice low.

Tubbo stumbled backward a half step of surprise. "Sorry, Tom-tommy..." He corrected himself last second, gaining a death glare from Techno who so obviously wanted to strike Tubbo down right where he stood, the only reason he hadn't was as to not upset Tommy, but he wasn't so sure it would anymore.

Tommy could feel anger boiling in his stomach, and he wanted to know why, so as the old Tommy would do, he let the words spew out of his mouth before he could stop them. "Tubbo, you left me. You let.. you let Dream take me.... twice! Twice Tubbo! You let it happen twice! I could of died both times. How can I trust you now? I still think everyone hates me here, I'm pretty sure you hate me! That's what Dream drilled into my mind the whole time I was stuck with him. I don't even know how long I was with him... I've never! and I mean never been more confused about everything in my entire life! You act all nice, and caring, like nothing has changed, but you let me get taken twice- so now Dream's statements have something to back it up, but what does your word have to back you up?" Tommy was breathing heavily. He had approached Tubbo, keeping the presidential colors in his blurred vision as he yelled at him.

"Tubbo, do you actually care about me? Is it all a facade to lead me on? I don't need to be hurt more Tubbo! Can't you see that? My brains been all messed up and I can't even say old lines without feeling an incredible amount of guilt! Do you realize what happened to me? Because I barely do! And it happened to me." Tommy shouted, no longer facing Tubbo and just standing there, staring at Techno's pink and red colors. "You let him take me twice... you know- if you really want me dead? Third time is a charm right?"

Tommy reached to grab Techno, once he had his hand he turned around and dragged his brother past the President who was left standing there, frozen in shock and fear. As his friend left with his worst enemy he fell to the ground, tears rolling down his face as he took in what Tommy had said. Was he really that bad of a friend? Did he really doom Tommy twice? He had exiled his best friend... Techno told him he had picked a country his best friend gave him over his Best friend, and only now was he realizing the truth in those words.

He had just sat there while Dream demanded to be given Tommy.. Did he really just give up? He was the president gosh dang it!! And he just let Dream walk all over him.

Tubbo brought his hands up to his eyes, a sob breaking through his silent cries.